Due to the overwhelming demand from my adoring readers (mgd expressed interest), here are some notes about the Sat (10/25) & Sun (10/26) events surrounding Dev's wedding.
Saturday
My parents were returning to India today after a stay of almost 4 months. We borrowed Vinay's minivan so that we could all go in one vehicle. We left home around 8.30am and were well in time for checking into the 1.10pm Cathay flight.
We left LAX around 12.30pm and started the 42 mile drive to Diamond Bar, where we were going to stay overnight. Traffic got a bit nasty and we were all getting hungry. We finally pulled off the 60 to find food and ended up in a McDonald's. Food was no good, but the new decor was pretty pleasing. The McCafe was decent also - Starbucks or Peet's is better I think. We eventually reached Ayres Suites in Diamond Bar, checked-in and tried to catch a nap. Nice rooms, with a mini-fridge and microwave in every room.
Folks were dressing up for the party, so Prem took some photos before we left - yet to see them. Cocktail party was in Covina - nice town, felt almost like the main drag in Santa Barbara. We were almost an hour late, but turned out that most folks were just trickling in. Party was in the clubhouse of a condo complex - interesting layout- there was a sitting area with very low seats and a deck outside that over looked the pool. There was another room that had an ancient tv and kids were able to watch some videos through the night.
It was a casual affair, the newly minted husband and wife were milling about greeting the guests. Donna's BIL (Mohit) who lives in London is in banking and I had a chat with him about the current crisis. I got insights from the inside. Food was mostly finger foods from Costco and Trader Joe's. Prem was spiking the margarita with extra tequila and gave me one of those. After a few sips I had to strategically dispose it.
The restrooms provided some challenges. They were accessed from the TV room, but had two doors, and you had to close the outer one since the inner one did not quite close. Figuring out if somebody was inside was a challenge since the outer door also got stuck. At one point I had gone in and found myself locked in. Turned out the the outer door had the lock on the outside (!) and our little guy, Abhi, had helpfully turned the lock. I felt a little silly banging on the door.
Eventually, the main floor was cleared and some dancing broke out. Both Dev and Donna were (somewhat reluctantly) pressed into the action, but they showed some moves. Mohit was the impressive dancer - that guy can shake a leg! Around 10-ish, we left along with the other Kumars.
Sunday
There was banging outside our door quite early which I ignored for a while. Finally opened the door and Rams and Jothis were ready for bkfast. We eventually headed down for the free buffet. It wasn't much, but ok. We tried playing some poker on three ipods, but the network was weak and the game kept exiting. Soon other folks came down for bkfast - Kapoors, Palakodetys (jr & sr).
We had a sorry lunch at Chilli's and returned to the room. All 8 kumars were now in one room since we decided to split the late checkout fee. 7 kumars were trying to take a nap and Arjun was watching a show on my computer. I gave him headphones to cut off the sound, but that strategy was rendered moot when he started laughing at the show. Amazingly we all got ready and headed out on time.
There was child care arranged at the reception, but that turned out to be mostly a bust. Kids were wandering out freely and the smaller ones were bawling their heads off and several parents were in attendance. Abhi was one such and eventually we gave up trying to keep him there and took him into the reception proper. The hall was filled with round tables and we were all assigned seating. At our table were p&v, s&s, k&h, and Sanjay & Bhoj. Sanjay stayed seated since he didn't want to expose the jeans that he had worn to the fancy party. Over 200 folks were expected. Appetizers had been served and Dev and Donna were greeting guests. It was a very festive occasion.
After a while the MC called the party to order and we got going with a series of speeches from close family and friends. The SD end was held up by Kaushik and Rahul. Kaushik highlighted the TG96 trip and by prior arrangement, we (ie, other participants on that trip) broke into cheers. Rahul mentioned drinking to Pink Floyd with the dude, but I don't recall much else. I felt like speaking myself - the whole hiking/outdoorsy side of Dev didn't come up. The family speeches were quite touching and when friends of Donna spoke about how she felt about Dev, I saw many a female eye being dabbed. Dev's sister (Deepa) spoke at length and a la "Cosmo" Kramer, we learnt that while Dev may be the Dude to us, he is "Bobby" to them. Finally, we got to see a short slide-show of Dev & Donna's pictures and the tables were released for dinner. Just before that, a gentleman came up and sang a song from the movie "Kohinoor." Very nice. There was also a dance by Dev's 5 (?) yr old niece that was really cute.
After dinner, the couple had undergone a sartorial shift - Dev was now in a smashing suit (the first time that he was not in an Indian outfit) along with a beautiful pink tie, that sort of reminded me of the Donald. They proceeded to cut the 3-tier cake and Donna had a surprise for Dev - she had been taking voice lessons (urged by Dev) and now sang a song for him. I was very impressed by her gumption to do that in front of 200 people.
Now it was time for the first dance and in the few weddings I have gone to here, the couple just does the first few bars of a slow number and then the parents join in and very soon the rest of the guests follow. Not so here. Dev & Donna had other plans - they had a carefully scripted dance prepared. When they segued into a tango, I knew they were very serious about the whole thing. They even had a finish planned for each routine. For those who know the real dude, this was very much in character.
It was getting late now and after taking a short turn around the dance floor it was time to leave. The gals (Keerthi, Latha, Vanitha) were having a good time on the dance floor. The Rams had to drive 7 hrs to Menlo Park and were last seen dashing out in their PJs (yeah, they changed before starting the drive). The drive back was uneventful and we got back home around 11pm.
It had been a whirlwind of a weekend - driving back & forth on Friday, my parents leaving, two receptions, emotional speeches, and the Dude getting married. I was still a bit dazed on Monday and it took the better part of the day to get back to normalcy.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Local (San Diego) Propositions
Ok, just to round out the election coverage, here is my take on the local props. Some of these were more difficult to decide than the state-wide props.
Prop A: Regional Fire Protection Ballot Measure: YES
This calls for an additional $52 in property taxes to go directly for fire fighting measures. Sounds good in principle. Two arguments against are that (1) It is regressive since the tax is same irrespective of prop value (it goes up for very large lots or floor plans), and (2) We already pay enough taxes so the city council needs to find other ways to come up with this 50mil. I think there is something to both arguments, but after going through 2 major fires, I am inclined to vote in favor of this one.
Prop B: Marine Freight Preservation and Bayfront Redevelopment Initiative: NO
This is some complicated scheme to build a 40' high platform on the bay front and then possibly put a stadium on the top. Clearly fueled by real estate developers. I am going with No.
Prop C: Use of Revenues from Mission Bay: YES
It appears that most of the revenues from Mission Bay leases are not used to improve facilities there. Of course, it is hardly possible or even desirable for all revenues to stay close to their source, but mandating a certain portion be used for much needed Mission Bay improvements only seems fair. Of course one can quibble about the percentages, but you have start somewhere.
Prop D: Alcohol Consumption At City Beaches: YES
I guess this is easy for me given that with kids I prefer the alcohol ban and this is quite likely a case of the majority imposing its will on the minority, but hey, such is life. The small pitfalls of democracy.
Prop A: Regional Fire Protection Ballot Measure: YES
This calls for an additional $52 in property taxes to go directly for fire fighting measures. Sounds good in principle. Two arguments against are that (1) It is regressive since the tax is same irrespective of prop value (it goes up for very large lots or floor plans), and (2) We already pay enough taxes so the city council needs to find other ways to come up with this 50mil. I think there is something to both arguments, but after going through 2 major fires, I am inclined to vote in favor of this one.
Prop B: Marine Freight Preservation and Bayfront Redevelopment Initiative: NO
This is some complicated scheme to build a 40' high platform on the bay front and then possibly put a stadium on the top. Clearly fueled by real estate developers. I am going with No.
Prop C: Use of Revenues from Mission Bay: YES
It appears that most of the revenues from Mission Bay leases are not used to improve facilities there. Of course, it is hardly possible or even desirable for all revenues to stay close to their source, but mandating a certain portion be used for much needed Mission Bay improvements only seems fair. Of course one can quibble about the percentages, but you have start somewhere.
Prop D: Alcohol Consumption At City Beaches: YES
I guess this is easy for me given that with kids I prefer the alcohol ban and this is quite likely a case of the majority imposing its will on the minority, but hey, such is life. The small pitfalls of democracy.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
CA Propositions - My Votes
Here is how I plan to vote on the 12 CA propositions next week. My analysis is not very deep due to the constraints of time and the fact that none of these propositions is likely to have an ever lasting impact - if something truly horrible gets passed (or something worthy is denied), people will try again and try to undo the damage/missed opportunity.
BTW, I am running a poll about some of the props on the right. Please vote if you feel like it.
Prop 1a (High Speed Rail): NO
I like trains and the idea of a high speed train from SD to Sacramento/SF is appealing. However, I think we could do with more local transportation before we invest in this very costly infrastructure project. It has a wide range of supporters including the Governor and the two CA senators (Boxer & Feinstein), but I suspect they are more interested in the job creation prospects.
Prop 2 (Standards for confining farm animals): YES
The main argument against this seems to be that egg farming could move out of the state to either Mexico or neighboring states where regulations are not as strict. I don't care much for this argument. CA has always led the way when it comes to progressive reforms. I see this as another such example.
Prop 3 (Funding for Children's Hospitals): YES
Deserving project. Main argument against is that it is not fiscally prudent in these tough times. I buy that somewhat and actually would be open to re-considering this vote. If it fails this time, this prop will show up again.
Prop 4 (Parental Notification for Abortion): NO
This really applies to teens who are between 16 & 18. It adds further liability for doctors who are already under pressure from pro-life groups. I do believe parents have the right to know, but the evidence from similar regulations in other states has not been positive.
Prop 5 (Expand treatment programs for non-violent drug offenders): YES
This is another good idea that is under pressure due to the current fiscal constraints. I believe strongly in rehabilitation (influenced no doubt by all the 'criminal as under-dog' shows and movies that I have seen). The clincher was that the prison guards union has contributed almost 2 million to defeat this prop.
Prop 6 (Increased funding for law enforcement): NO
This prop mandates funding for certain law enforcement activities and increases the minimum penalty for certain crimes. I don't think our crime problem is because of insufficient punishment. This is one I can live without, especially in these fiscally constrained times.
Prop 7 (Requirement for use of renewable sources for utilities): NO
This prop looks tempting - should not CA be setting the standard for generating power from renewable sources? However, the prop doesn't look well thought out and is opposed by a wide coalition of groups including both environmental groups (such as the Sierra Club) and alternative energy companies. Edison and Sempra have contributed about 13 mil each to defeat this, which would normally cause me to almost reflexively say 'Yes", but I am going with the opposition on this one.
Prop 8 (Gay marriage ammendment): NO
This is an easy choice for me. Clearly there is a lot of passion about this one. Every day there are groups of people at various intersections holding up signs in favor of this prop. Today I had to smile when I saw a lonely 'NO' supporter holding up his solitary sign in the midst of a group of 'Yes' placards at the intersection of Mira Mesa and Camino Ruiz. The idea that the purpose of marriage is to procreate is so ingrained that it often accepted as gospel. Marriage is merely a societal construction. Today it is imbued it with a sacred glow when most older societies see it mostly as a practical arrangement. Ironically, it is this very desirable quality invested in marriages that makes it more appealing to those denied that right.
Prop 9 (Victim notification during trial): NO
Victims already have considerable rights during all phases of criminal trials. They don't need additional rights.
Prop 10 (Rebates for buying alternative energy vehicles): NO
I don't really get this. It sounds kind of good, but is bank rolled by a Texas billionnaire (T.Boone Pickens) who has massive natural gas holdings that will benefit from this passing. Doesn't smell right.
Prop 11(Re-districting authority taken away from the legislature): YES
I hate gerrymandering and while this proposal has flaws, it is a step in the right direction.
Prop 12(Loans for Veterans to buy houses): NO
Again, tempting to say yes, but it is too much money and for too narrow an interest group.
BTW, I am running a poll about some of the props on the right. Please vote if you feel like it.
Prop 1a (High Speed Rail): NO
I like trains and the idea of a high speed train from SD to Sacramento/SF is appealing. However, I think we could do with more local transportation before we invest in this very costly infrastructure project. It has a wide range of supporters including the Governor and the two CA senators (Boxer & Feinstein), but I suspect they are more interested in the job creation prospects.
Prop 2 (Standards for confining farm animals): YES
The main argument against this seems to be that egg farming could move out of the state to either Mexico or neighboring states where regulations are not as strict. I don't care much for this argument. CA has always led the way when it comes to progressive reforms. I see this as another such example.
Prop 3 (Funding for Children's Hospitals): YES
Deserving project. Main argument against is that it is not fiscally prudent in these tough times. I buy that somewhat and actually would be open to re-considering this vote. If it fails this time, this prop will show up again.
Prop 4 (Parental Notification for Abortion): NO
This really applies to teens who are between 16 & 18. It adds further liability for doctors who are already under pressure from pro-life groups. I do believe parents have the right to know, but the evidence from similar regulations in other states has not been positive.
Prop 5 (Expand treatment programs for non-violent drug offenders): YES
This is another good idea that is under pressure due to the current fiscal constraints. I believe strongly in rehabilitation (influenced no doubt by all the 'criminal as under-dog' shows and movies that I have seen). The clincher was that the prison guards union has contributed almost 2 million to defeat this prop.
Prop 6 (Increased funding for law enforcement): NO
This prop mandates funding for certain law enforcement activities and increases the minimum penalty for certain crimes. I don't think our crime problem is because of insufficient punishment. This is one I can live without, especially in these fiscally constrained times.
Prop 7 (Requirement for use of renewable sources for utilities): NO
This prop looks tempting - should not CA be setting the standard for generating power from renewable sources? However, the prop doesn't look well thought out and is opposed by a wide coalition of groups including both environmental groups (such as the Sierra Club) and alternative energy companies. Edison and Sempra have contributed about 13 mil each to defeat this, which would normally cause me to almost reflexively say 'Yes", but I am going with the opposition on this one.
Prop 8 (Gay marriage ammendment): NO
This is an easy choice for me. Clearly there is a lot of passion about this one. Every day there are groups of people at various intersections holding up signs in favor of this prop. Today I had to smile when I saw a lonely 'NO' supporter holding up his solitary sign in the midst of a group of 'Yes' placards at the intersection of Mira Mesa and Camino Ruiz. The idea that the purpose of marriage is to procreate is so ingrained that it often accepted as gospel. Marriage is merely a societal construction. Today it is imbued it with a sacred glow when most older societies see it mostly as a practical arrangement. Ironically, it is this very desirable quality invested in marriages that makes it more appealing to those denied that right.
Prop 9 (Victim notification during trial): NO
Victims already have considerable rights during all phases of criminal trials. They don't need additional rights.
Prop 10 (Rebates for buying alternative energy vehicles): NO
I don't really get this. It sounds kind of good, but is bank rolled by a Texas billionnaire (T.Boone Pickens) who has massive natural gas holdings that will benefit from this passing. Doesn't smell right.
Prop 11(Re-districting authority taken away from the legislature): YES
I hate gerrymandering and while this proposal has flaws, it is a step in the right direction.
Prop 12(Loans for Veterans to buy houses): NO
Again, tempting to say yes, but it is too much money and for too narrow an interest group.
Pick Your Poison
Yesterday we had a mini-Diwali celebration with a potluck dinner at La Casa Bhoj (LCB). Our contribution were Malini's 'paripu' vadas. Other entries included Chole (I encouraged folks to consume liberal quantities of this given that it was Diwali), couple of forms of rice; a dal; a combo of eggplant, potatoes, and salt; and dessert in the form of tapioca & semia kheer. The gracious host was dishing up "edible" chapatis (in the words of sivap). All folks were dressed up. Arjun & Abhishek have suddenly become fans of kurtas (or "jubba" as we call them) and were also in traditional outfits, willingly this time.
I had brought my camera and having borrowed Prem's flash spent quite some time experimenting with a 2-flash system. Despite my (& Prem's) best efforts I could not get the results I wanted and had to abandon plans of taking family portraits. Lathak and Prem sportingly modeled for the vast majority of my test shots while a number of others played cameo roles. I missed most of the conversation because of this fiddling - no doubt folks had intriguing and entertaining things to say.
We started eating and Harini (who had made the eggplant dish) was issuing warnings of high salt content. Siva, in his bid to be helpful, suggested that I mix the dish with rice and yogurt since this would, in his words, "make it almost tolerable." In retrospect, this comment, while innocent was not designed to strike the right chord with his spouse who was already feeling quite bad about the salty dish. As men are wont to do in such situations, Siva proceeded to dig himself a bigger hole by trying to explain and rationalize his comments. He even served himself a large helping of the dish to demonstrate his loyalty.
Then it was time for dessert and this time Harini was serving. She handed a large bowl of the kheer to Siva, who protested about the excessive quantity. Harini responded that she was giving him extra sugar to balance the extra salt that he had consumed. I was prompted to comment that, "This way, if the BP does not kill you, the sugar will." Considerable hilarity ensued and Rahul told Siva,"Pick your poison" to which I added, "and your spouse will make sure you get it." Harini expressed concern that this story was going provide more fodder just when she was finally putting the "topless cake" story behind her.
All in all, a pleasant time was had by all. Oddly, there was no election talk - maybe everybody is weary of the extended campaign. We did re-live some Seinfeld moments.
By now it was almost 10pm and kids were falling apart. P&V had made their exit a while ago and we were waiting for the host to finish his meal. The same could not be said of the others - at last check, MGD was still eating.
I had brought my camera and having borrowed Prem's flash spent quite some time experimenting with a 2-flash system. Despite my (& Prem's) best efforts I could not get the results I wanted and had to abandon plans of taking family portraits. Lathak and Prem sportingly modeled for the vast majority of my test shots while a number of others played cameo roles. I missed most of the conversation because of this fiddling - no doubt folks had intriguing and entertaining things to say.
We started eating and Harini (who had made the eggplant dish) was issuing warnings of high salt content. Siva, in his bid to be helpful, suggested that I mix the dish with rice and yogurt since this would, in his words, "make it almost tolerable." In retrospect, this comment, while innocent was not designed to strike the right chord with his spouse who was already feeling quite bad about the salty dish. As men are wont to do in such situations, Siva proceeded to dig himself a bigger hole by trying to explain and rationalize his comments. He even served himself a large helping of the dish to demonstrate his loyalty.
Then it was time for dessert and this time Harini was serving. She handed a large bowl of the kheer to Siva, who protested about the excessive quantity. Harini responded that she was giving him extra sugar to balance the extra salt that he had consumed. I was prompted to comment that, "This way, if the BP does not kill you, the sugar will." Considerable hilarity ensued and Rahul told Siva,"Pick your poison" to which I added, "and your spouse will make sure you get it." Harini expressed concern that this story was going provide more fodder just when she was finally putting the "topless cake" story behind her.
All in all, a pleasant time was had by all. Oddly, there was no election talk - maybe everybody is weary of the extended campaign. We did re-live some Seinfeld moments.
By now it was almost 10pm and kids were falling apart. P&V had made their exit a while ago and we were waiting for the host to finish his meal. The same could not be said of the others - at last check, MGD was still eating.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
The Dude Gets Married
With RD's blog providing the latest inspiration, I was seeking an appropriate topic to start blogging. What better than the happy occasion of the dude tying the knot?
The wedding related events were spread over three days - the wedding-proper was in the Malibu temple on Friday (10/24), an informal cocktail party in Covina on Sat and finally the formal reception on Sunday in Diamond Bar. Malini and I were able to attend all three events.
Friday:My parents were still in town, so we were able to leave A&A at home. Driving to Malibu is not to be taken lightly, so we left early to ensure we would be on time. As is to be expected, there were no traffic delays and we got there over an hour early. Outside the temple was the dude in a white silk Kurta with painted feet and hands decorated with mehndi. As is my wont, I had lugged along my camera gear and used the opportunity to take some shots of Dev's family and the pujari setting up for the actual ceremonies. This had the unintended side-effect of the pujari annointing me the 'official' photographer.
Soon after, Donna and team showed up and Dev's sister (Deepa) proceeded to help complete her preparations. Dev was also completing his regalia and at this point they were seated on the two ends of a make-shift platform. I was struck by how low-key and stress-free everybody appeared to be. Things were moving at a gentle pace - nobody rushing around in a panic or doing last-minute scrambles. Eventually, Donna was ready and I got to take a couple of shots - I didn't get the results I was seeking, but at this point we were not totally relaxed either.
Snacks and drinks were served outside and the 'groom's party' was assembling to make the 20' approach to the temple entrance. I was asked to remain behind to photograph the arrival while Malini got to be part of the Dude-team. There was some confusion about how things were actually going to work since the ceremony was a bit of a melange of Andhra and Assamese traditions. Donna and friend were hanging around inside the temple with a confused air and when I asked her what was going on, she replied that she didn't really know and, "I think the organizers are confused as well." So I just waited.
I had had Dev pose at the entrance earlier and had carefully metered the scene since I was going to be shooting from inside a dark room into the brightly lit exterior. However, when the actual approach happened all my planning was for naught since the bridal party was essentially blocking the entrance!
After the groom's party made their entry into the temple folks started pelting each other with fist fulls of rice and cheering broke out for particularly forceful throws. I learned later on that such a 'rice fight' is traditional with Assamese weddings.
Dev was lead to the area set up for the wedding and the pujari proceeded with the ceremony. This part mostly involved Dev and his parents repeating several mantras after the priest and making some offerings. Rice offerings and water sprinkling (with mango leaves) were featured. Dev was then lead away and Donna was brought in for similar activities. Donna's aunt and uncle took part in the ceremony and they had a bit of a puzzled air about them since they were essentially being lead through an unfamiliar ceremony. The pujari was clearly experienced with such situations and directed them without any problems.
Now we were ready for the main part of the wedding and the pujari (who by now had decided that I was the "official" photographer) started issuing specific instructions to me about where to stand and what to photograph. Throughout the rest of the ceremony, he would routinely turn to me with questions such as, "Rajesh, are you happy? Did you get the shots?" or instruct the couple to pause or even rewind so that I could get a photo of a particular moment. It all got a bit humorous, but I also began to feel the weight of increased expectations. Of course, everybody became very accommodating of my rushing around and planting myself in their field of view.
A sari was held up in front of Donna and Dev was brought in and seated on the other side. Many mantras were said and Donna's uncle did the thread ceremony for Dev. A coconut (along with some rice & flowers) were placed in Donna's palm and her uncle placed her hands into Dev's from below the sari, that was still in place. This was the "kanya Daan." Dev and Donna then placed some jaggery and rice (yup, this was a prominent feature) on each others head and with their hands so positioned the sari was lifted. Close family and friends were then asked to bless the couple (who were frozen in tableau form with a hand on the other person's head), with what else, more rice. The ceremony then proceeded with much exchange of rice - culminating with an almost competitive pouring of copious quantities rice on each other's heads. It was all done with just the right mix of seriousness and playfulness.
After this, there was the traditional tying of the mangalsutra and exchange of garlands. The pujari tied the ends of their outfits and reminded them of the significance of this. Donna was also asked to touch Dev's feet and instructed (with a smile) that Dev was now her "God." This caused some amusement in the crowd and no doubt some wistful thoughts in more than one married guy in the assembled group. They then made the walk around the wedding arena with intertwined fingers and had the ring ceremony. First they exchanged rings and then Dev placed rings on Donna's toes. A mock fight was part of the deal - a couple of the rings were dropped into a pot of water and they both had to come up with the silver one (I think). Dev won the first go and the families demanded a retry. Donna won the second round, although there were allegations that he may have thrown the fight. All is fair in love and war and this was both. The couple were then seated in front of a fire and Dev made some more offerings. The pujari then took the two of them outside (of course with instructions to me to follow along). Outside they said some more prayers and surprise (!) - they flung rice into the air.
Lunch was next and it was catered by Woodlands. The star feature was the Bisi Bele Baath - I had to have a second helping! Of course there was also tamrind rice which I eschewed, but was told was rather tasty as well (but not quite on par with the BBB). Joor had supplied tea and after consuming ample quantities of the same, Malini and I said our goodbyes and headed back to SD.
More our group were present for the Sat and Sun events, so I'll blog about them only if there is sufficient interest. The wedding ceremonies were low key, but well done. Saturday's cocktail party was an informal gathering of close friends and family. Sunday's reception had clearly received the most planning and organization. It was beautiful and even my cynical, world weary self felt a tug or two.
The wedding related events were spread over three days - the wedding-proper was in the Malibu temple on Friday (10/24), an informal cocktail party in Covina on Sat and finally the formal reception on Sunday in Diamond Bar. Malini and I were able to attend all three events.
Friday:My parents were still in town, so we were able to leave A&A at home. Driving to Malibu is not to be taken lightly, so we left early to ensure we would be on time. As is to be expected, there were no traffic delays and we got there over an hour early. Outside the temple was the dude in a white silk Kurta with painted feet and hands decorated with mehndi. As is my wont, I had lugged along my camera gear and used the opportunity to take some shots of Dev's family and the pujari setting up for the actual ceremonies. This had the unintended side-effect of the pujari annointing me the 'official' photographer.
Soon after, Donna and team showed up and Dev's sister (Deepa) proceeded to help complete her preparations. Dev was also completing his regalia and at this point they were seated on the two ends of a make-shift platform. I was struck by how low-key and stress-free everybody appeared to be. Things were moving at a gentle pace - nobody rushing around in a panic or doing last-minute scrambles. Eventually, Donna was ready and I got to take a couple of shots - I didn't get the results I was seeking, but at this point we were not totally relaxed either.
Snacks and drinks were served outside and the 'groom's party' was assembling to make the 20' approach to the temple entrance. I was asked to remain behind to photograph the arrival while Malini got to be part of the Dude-team. There was some confusion about how things were actually going to work since the ceremony was a bit of a melange of Andhra and Assamese traditions. Donna and friend were hanging around inside the temple with a confused air and when I asked her what was going on, she replied that she didn't really know and, "I think the organizers are confused as well." So I just waited.
I had had Dev pose at the entrance earlier and had carefully metered the scene since I was going to be shooting from inside a dark room into the brightly lit exterior. However, when the actual approach happened all my planning was for naught since the bridal party was essentially blocking the entrance!
After the groom's party made their entry into the temple folks started pelting each other with fist fulls of rice and cheering broke out for particularly forceful throws. I learned later on that such a 'rice fight' is traditional with Assamese weddings.
Dev was lead to the area set up for the wedding and the pujari proceeded with the ceremony. This part mostly involved Dev and his parents repeating several mantras after the priest and making some offerings. Rice offerings and water sprinkling (with mango leaves) were featured. Dev was then lead away and Donna was brought in for similar activities. Donna's aunt and uncle took part in the ceremony and they had a bit of a puzzled air about them since they were essentially being lead through an unfamiliar ceremony. The pujari was clearly experienced with such situations and directed them without any problems.
Now we were ready for the main part of the wedding and the pujari (who by now had decided that I was the "official" photographer) started issuing specific instructions to me about where to stand and what to photograph. Throughout the rest of the ceremony, he would routinely turn to me with questions such as, "Rajesh, are you happy? Did you get the shots?" or instruct the couple to pause or even rewind so that I could get a photo of a particular moment. It all got a bit humorous, but I also began to feel the weight of increased expectations. Of course, everybody became very accommodating of my rushing around and planting myself in their field of view.
A sari was held up in front of Donna and Dev was brought in and seated on the other side. Many mantras were said and Donna's uncle did the thread ceremony for Dev. A coconut (along with some rice & flowers) were placed in Donna's palm and her uncle placed her hands into Dev's from below the sari, that was still in place. This was the "kanya Daan." Dev and Donna then placed some jaggery and rice (yup, this was a prominent feature) on each others head and with their hands so positioned the sari was lifted. Close family and friends were then asked to bless the couple (who were frozen in tableau form with a hand on the other person's head), with what else, more rice. The ceremony then proceeded with much exchange of rice - culminating with an almost competitive pouring of copious quantities rice on each other's heads. It was all done with just the right mix of seriousness and playfulness.
After this, there was the traditional tying of the mangalsutra and exchange of garlands. The pujari tied the ends of their outfits and reminded them of the significance of this. Donna was also asked to touch Dev's feet and instructed (with a smile) that Dev was now her "God." This caused some amusement in the crowd and no doubt some wistful thoughts in more than one married guy in the assembled group. They then made the walk around the wedding arena with intertwined fingers and had the ring ceremony. First they exchanged rings and then Dev placed rings on Donna's toes. A mock fight was part of the deal - a couple of the rings were dropped into a pot of water and they both had to come up with the silver one (I think). Dev won the first go and the families demanded a retry. Donna won the second round, although there were allegations that he may have thrown the fight. All is fair in love and war and this was both. The couple were then seated in front of a fire and Dev made some more offerings. The pujari then took the two of them outside (of course with instructions to me to follow along). Outside they said some more prayers and surprise (!) - they flung rice into the air.
Lunch was next and it was catered by Woodlands. The star feature was the Bisi Bele Baath - I had to have a second helping! Of course there was also tamrind rice which I eschewed, but was told was rather tasty as well (but not quite on par with the BBB). Joor had supplied tea and after consuming ample quantities of the same, Malini and I said our goodbyes and headed back to SD.
More our group were present for the Sat and Sun events, so I'll blog about them only if there is sufficient interest. The wedding ceremonies were low key, but well done. Saturday's cocktail party was an informal gathering of close friends and family. Sunday's reception had clearly received the most planning and organization. It was beautiful and even my cynical, world weary self felt a tug or two.
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