The Dude Gets Married

With RD's blog providing the latest inspiration, I was seeking an appropriate topic to start blogging. What better than the happy occasion of the dude tying the knot?

The wedding related events were spread over three days - the wedding-proper was in the Malibu temple on Friday (10/24), an informal cocktail party in Covina on Sat and finally the formal reception on Sunday in Diamond Bar. Malini and I were able to attend all three events.
Friday:My parents were still in town, so we were able to leave A&A at home. Driving to Malibu is not to be taken lightly, so we left early to ensure we would be on time. As is to be expected, there were no traffic delays and we got there over an hour early. Outside the temple was the dude in a white silk Kurta with painted feet and hands decorated with mehndi. As is my wont, I had lugged along my camera gear and used the opportunity to take some shots of Dev's family and the pujari setting up for the actual ceremonies. This had the unintended side-effect of the pujari annointing me the 'official' photographer.
Soon after, Donna and team showed up and Dev's sister (Deepa) proceeded to help complete her preparations. Dev was also completing his regalia and at this point they were seated on the two ends of a make-shift platform. I was struck by how low-key and stress-free everybody appeared to be. Things were moving at a gentle pace - nobody rushing around in a panic or doing last-minute scrambles. Eventually, Donna was ready and I got to take a couple of shots - I didn't get the results I was seeking, but at this point we were not totally relaxed either.
Snacks and drinks were served outside and the 'groom's party' was assembling to make the 20' approach to the temple entrance. I was asked to remain behind to photograph the arrival while Malini got to be part of the Dude-team. There was some confusion about how things were actually going to work since the ceremony was a bit of a melange of Andhra and Assamese traditions. Donna and friend were hanging around inside the temple with a confused air and when I asked her what was going on, she replied that she didn't really know and, "I think the organizers are confused as well." So I just waited.
I had had Dev pose at the entrance earlier and had carefully metered the scene since I was going to be shooting from inside a dark room into the brightly lit exterior. However, when the actual approach happened all my planning was for naught since the bridal party was essentially blocking the entrance!
After the groom's party made their entry into the temple folks started pelting each other with fist fulls of rice and cheering broke out for particularly forceful throws. I learned later on that such a 'rice fight' is traditional with Assamese weddings.
Dev was lead to the area set up for the wedding and the pujari proceeded with the ceremony. This part mostly involved Dev and his parents repeating several mantras after the priest and making some offerings. Rice offerings and water sprinkling (with mango leaves) were featured. Dev was then lead away and Donna was brought in for similar activities. Donna's aunt and uncle took part in the ceremony and they had a bit of a puzzled air about them since they were essentially being lead through an unfamiliar ceremony. The pujari was clearly experienced with such situations and directed them without any problems.
Now we were ready for the main part of the wedding and the pujari (who by now had decided that I was the "official" photographer) started issuing specific instructions to me about where to stand and what to photograph. Throughout the rest of the ceremony, he would routinely turn to me with questions such as, "Rajesh, are you happy? Did you get the shots?" or instruct the couple to pause or even rewind so that I could get a photo of a particular moment. It all got a bit humorous, but I also began to feel the weight of increased expectations. Of course, everybody became very accommodating of my rushing around and planting myself in their field of view.
A sari was held up in front of Donna and Dev was brought in and seated on the other side. Many mantras were said and Donna's uncle did the thread ceremony for Dev. A coconut (along with some rice & flowers) were placed in Donna's palm and her uncle placed her hands into Dev's from below the sari, that was still in place. This was the "kanya Daan." Dev and Donna then placed some jaggery and rice (yup, this was a prominent feature) on each others head and with their hands so positioned the sari was lifted. Close family and friends were then asked to bless the couple (who were frozen in tableau form with a hand on the other person's head), with what else, more rice. The ceremony then proceeded with much exchange of rice - culminating with an almost competitive pouring of copious quantities rice on each other's heads. It was all done with just the right mix of seriousness and playfulness.

After this, there was the traditional tying of the mangalsutra and exchange of garlands. The pujari tied the ends of their outfits and reminded them of the significance of this. Donna was also asked to touch Dev's feet and instructed (with a smile) that Dev was now her "God." This caused some amusement in the crowd and no doubt some wistful thoughts in more than one married guy in the assembled group. They then made the walk around the wedding arena with intertwined fingers and had the ring ceremony. First they exchanged rings and then Dev placed rings on Donna's toes. A mock fight was part of the deal - a couple of the rings were dropped into a pot of water and they both had to come up with the silver one (I think). Dev won the first go and the families demanded a retry. Donna won the second round, although there were allegations that he may have thrown the fight. All is fair in love and war and this was both. The couple were then seated in front of a fire and Dev made some more offerings. The pujari then took the two of them outside (of course with instructions to me to follow along). Outside they said some more prayers and surprise (!) - they flung rice into the air.

Lunch was next and it was catered by Woodlands. The star feature was the Bisi Bele Baath - I had to have a second helping! Of course there was also tamrind rice which I eschewed, but was told was rather tasty as well (but not quite on par with the BBB). Joor had supplied tea and after consuming ample quantities of the same, Malini and I said our goodbyes and headed back to SD.

More our group were present for the Sat and Sun events, so I'll blog about them only if there is sufficient interest. The wedding ceremonies were low key, but well done. Saturday's cocktail party was an informal gathering of close friends and family. Sunday's reception had clearly received the most planning and organization. It was beautiful and even my cynical, world weary self felt a tug or two.