BONO

It almost seemed like clockwork - every few weeks, MGD would recycle his proposal for a 'Boys Night Out' (BoNO), but nothing ever has come of them. Yard House would invariably be mentioned and Prem would respond enthusiastically, which was somewhat odd when you consider that he has avoided any outing that may remotely resemble a BoNO. But things are different when men of action like RD make a proposal. After a successful outing with our work place hot-wings club, RD proposed a BoNO at Bub's Dive Bar last Wednesday evening. They not only have an happy hour at that time (with half priced everything), but also have a wings special - 25 cents per wing!

Remarkably, the only planning was an Outlook invite (to which Prem replied in the affirmative, but predictably did not show up), but RD managed to garner a decent turnout - seven of us - RD, Rahul, Sanjay, Murali, Siva, Ravi, and me. Email activity perked up Wed afternoon with some discussion about car pooling. Then a disturbing note crept in - some folks were actively talking about heading to Nordstrom for some post-BoNO shopping and for shoes, no less! Our noted metrosexuals were leading the charge, so perhaps it should not have been too surprising. However, as Rahul noted, that whole exchange and plan was wrong on so many levels.

We had to brave some tough traffic, but we all managed to get there in time to catch Happy Hour and the festivities began. One thing stands out at Bub's Dive Bar - they serve you peanuts in their shells and as you eat them, you simply sweep the shells onto the floor. They also seem to be Virginia Tech supporters, with several posters and banners covering the walls. We asked for their hottest wings, but sure enough the stuff they brought over was pretty lame. For the second order, I impressed upon the waitress that we wanted the really hot ones and she said, "You want 8 drops?" And I said, "Yeah, that sounds right." I had no clue what "drops" were, but the '8' rang a bell from our last visit. But the second batch was also very tolerable. The natives were beginning to get restless. They didn't say so in so many words, but clearly some skepticism was beginning to creep into their tone when I kept insisting that there is indeed a higher level of spiciness that could be had.

I called the waitress over again and said that the wings were just not hot enough. She was doubtful, but said (not very seriously I think), "You want 16 drops?" I was savvy to the drops unit by now and I said, sure, lets try that. But just make it 5 wings and get us 15 more of the previous level (8, in our estimation). She returned with the two sets of wings and right away we can tell that a new level has been reached. There were fumes coming off of the wings. RD and I graciously ceded the new batch to the newbies. After some hesitation, Sanjay, Rahul, and Siva dove in. Or I should say, took a tentative bit each. And then they stopped. They seemed to be experiencing some difficulty with speech and their eyes were tearing up. Sweat was forming on their foreheads and there was a stillness to their posture. To the rest of us, especially me, it was a riot. The looks on their faces was priceless - it was mission accomplished. After a while, Rahul got up and took a walk - like somebody with a muscle cramp, he was attempting to walk it off. He returned to the table and declared that it had worked.

In the meantime, Murali had just started on his first nuclear wing. He was being surprisingly timid. Much was expected of him, but he failed us - after a bite or two, he gave up. He made another attempt on a second wing, but that too didn't last long. To his credit he did manage to finish off a third one (that was conspicuously small), but by then the damage was done - his reputation as the King of Heat was down in flames, literally. Sanjay, on the other hand, was a true stalwart - attempting and finishing off two of the nuclear wings. I suppose this should not have been too surprising given the spice levels that Geetha is fond of.

The effect of the spice was being expressed in loud tones and we were attracting the attention of our neighboring tables. We offered them a sample, but they wisely declined. Then we realized with horror that the batch of 15 wings were also at the super spicy level. I managed one, but when I started on a second one, I had to stop short. This was unlike anything I had experienced before. To say that my mouth was on fire was difficult, because that would actually require being able to form words and emit sounds. I tried the sit-still approach, but that was useless. Sweat was pouring off of me and after several agonizing moments, I decided I had to try the Rahul technique and walk it off. As I got off the table, a cheer rose from the next one - I guess that given how much merriment I had been deriving from the suffering of the rest of our group, the sight of me capitulating was cause for celebration. Heck, they even snapped some photos of us!

The spice was having a real effect - the overall mood became much more jolly and almost everything began to sound real amusing. All the expected jokes about experiencing the wings coming and going were made. Sanjay predicted that it was going to be water for everybody the next morning. The use of baby wipes was suggested. Some soul who seemed to have some experience in these matters suggested first putting the wipes in the fridge - presumably for an extra cooling effect. Murali attempted to repair the torn shreds of his reputation by laying down one preposterous challenge after another - "I am going have 2 more!" "But you can only get them in batches of 5" "Ok, I'll have 5 then!" We dissuaded him from this foolishness. So then he goes, "Ok, then I'll just drink the sauce from the previous batch." We almost took his car keys away.

Eventually we had to leave and we spent some time standing outside the joint, just watching the folks coming in. Sanjay made a whiplash move to catch a new arrival (apparently he was just checking out the hat she was wearing) and dropped the carryout box that he had for the sample he was going to bring home for Geetha. His explanation of why he lost control of his hands while enjoying a fashionable hat was not very convincing. But then, we were not in a picky mood either, so we let it pass.

The spice was still roiling our tummies and a general cry for ice cream went out. We spotted a Gelato place across the street and headed there. By now, all thoughts of shopping were out the window and thankfully we were spared the sight of three middle aged men heading off to shop for shoes, together. Of course, a small cup of gelato was hardly sufficient to douse the flames. I had a violent fit of hiccups soon after I got home and had two Tums to calm things down. RD noted the next day that his stomach was not "very jolly." When I ran into Siva the next day, he expressed regret at not having acted on the baby wipes idea. Both Sanjay and Ravi continued to suffer through the day, but also experienced cravings for the wings. I do have it on good authority that neither of them are planning to expand their family.

An outing for half-priced chicken wings for a BoNO had all the promise of being a snooze fest, but boy, were we wrong - happily so, of course.

It Never Rains, but it Pours

This story is well known within our San Diego crowd, at least those who have been around since 1996 or so. I have been meaning to record it for a while now, so here goes.

It was a Monday in early '96 and Rahul, Sanjay, and I were roommates in a 3-BR townhouse in Pacific Beach. I was enrolled in a UCSD Extension course and was taking the day off to prepare for the final. I was heading upstairs to the kitchen when I started feeling slightly woozy, but I managed to negotiate the stairs without issue. I had some cereal and still feeling a little light headed, went back down to my room. I was getting more dizzy and soon nausea hit me and I just made it to the bathroom to heave up my stomach contents. I could barely stand and stumbled back to my bed. Subsequent trips to the bathroom had to be done on all fours. The only way to avoid nausea was to lie face down on my bed and remain completely still. Clearly, this was not a sustainable situation, so I dragged myself across the hallway and knocked on Sanjay's door. He responded after a while:
Me: "Hey Sanjay, I am not feeling too good. Can you drive me to the hospital?"
Sanjay (in a feeble voice): "Actually, I am not feeling good either. I was about to ask you to take me to the doctor."
Me: "What happened to you?"
Sanjay: "I am not sure, but I think I have Chicken Pox." I crawled back to my room. Rather conveniently, Rahul had left town earlier in the morning.

After some time, I called up RD and he came by as soon as he could. He offered to drive me to the hospital, but I refused - I didn't think I could tolerate the movement. He called 911. I could only hear one side of the conversation, but since RD was relaying all the questions to me I knew what they were asking:
911 Operator: "What's the problem?"
RD: "My friend is not well and needs to go to the hospital."
Op: "Can he move?" (RD to me:"Can you move?" Me: "No!")
Op: "Is there any blood?" (RD to me: "Is there any blood?" Me: "No!")
Op: "Can he talk?" (RD to me:"Can you...") "Yes, he can talk."
RD: "Can you send an ambulance?" And she said, sure, they could.

The ambulance showed up soon and the EMTs came in and established that I was not prepared to raise my head or move in any way. They strapped me to a stretcher and took me in. (A minor disappointment is that they saw no reason to turn on the siren on the way to the hospital.) RD was going to follow in his car and just as he was about to leave, Sanjay came out and asked if he could tag along.

I was wheeled into the ER and nurses and doctors milled about. Eventually I got the diagnosis - most likely an inner ear infection. Nothing to be done, except to sleep it off and oh, here is a prescription for some Codeine. I was feeling less nauseous now and walked out to the waiting room where Sanjay was waiting with his own diagnosis - confirmed chicken pox. RD drove us both home with a stop at a pharmacy to pick up the prescriptions. A rather miserable week ensued with both of us struggling to fend for ourselves. Meanwhile the one guy who could have helped us - our third roommate Rahul - was enjoying his visit to Boulder. Oh sure, he expressed his sympathies by email and wished he could be there. But it all turned out ok: As soon as he came back from his trip, he came down with Chicken Pox.

Too Trusting By Half

Harini shared this story at the RD-Bhoj taco party on Saturday and I am repeating it here without permission. The talk had circled around to kids asking to have pets and ways to say no to them (at least in most cases), when Harini mentioned that they have a goldfish. The crowd was a bit surprised - You have a fish tank? Well, it's not much of a tank - just a little thing really and Harini gestured with her hands to indicate a small box. How many fish, an enquiring mind wanted to know? Oh, just one. And is it doing well? Yes, but....oh good, there was a story here. So apparently what happened was that when the fish came home, the kids (or was it Harini? I forget) took it out of the water and left it on the counter top "momentarily" before dropping it into the tank. The fish seemed fine and the kids went to bed happy to have a new friend. Soon after though, Harini saw the fish doing the belly-up float, which fish in the pink of health are not wont to do. Siva was promptly dispatched to WalMart which fortunately is open at 10.30pm. He came back with a fish that sort of looked like its predecessor - only a bit more orange and a lot more plump. He went in the tank and down the toilet went the first guy.

The next morning, the kids ran to check out their new pal and there he was - swimming along just fine. Pranav though, noticed a difference and commented to his sister, "Wow, see how much he has grown in just one night?" His older and wiser sister was quick to dismiss him: "No you silly, he is not any bigger. Its just the light - see how much more orange it makes him look?"

Little did it occur to them that a switcheroo had taken place - after all who would do such a thing?

Sanjay Gets a Job

I had promised Keerti that I would blog about this and it should be quick, so might as well start with this one.

A few weeks ago we were gathered in Chez Anands for a round of poker. The boys were watching a movie and while Arjun tends to watch everything with deep concentration, Abhi tends to be easily distracted. So he starts jumping around and comes running into the living room to announce that the couch is broken. This had of course happened a while ago when RDX had had a little accident with that couch. So this announcement doesn't cause any great concern, but Keerti decides to play along:

Keerti: "Oh no Abhi, how did break?"

Abhi: "I don't know. It just broke."

Keerti: "Oh, what do we do now? Do you know anybody who can fix it?"

Abhi (after giving it some thought): "No, I don't know anybody."

Keerti: "How about Sanju-mama? Maybe he can fix it?" (no doubt in consideration of SK's carpentry skills)

Abhi's eyes light up and he responds in the all-knowing tone he takes in such situations: "Yaah! Sanju-mama is a plumber."

A Tale of Two Birthdays

A few weeks ago RD was telling me about a Karaoke device that he had brought from India for some friends of his. Both of us agreed that this was a novelty and of limited interest to us. The experience of last Friday night might have made me feel different.

It was the occasion of Vanitha's BD party, organized slightly ahead of schedule by Prem. The party was going along in routine fashion - good food - pasta, salad, cake from Champagne bakery (although the Menage a Trois was questionable :-)), and kids running around helter-skelter. Poker was not on the cards in honor of the BD girl and instead the plan was to watch a movie streamed from Netflix (I picked Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels). Before that could happen, Keerti started encouraging Sanjay to sing a song for the group. The rest of the group had to push him a bit, but eventually he got going. A couple of folks hummed along and soon folks were suggesting other songs to sing. Malini had heard MGD sing a Kannada devotional song (Gajamukhane Ganapathiye) in the temple and tried to get him to sing that one, which he eventually did with great gusto. Then Vanitha was prevailed upon to sing a popular Tamil song (Illaya Nila). One song led to another and very soon it became hard to stop. Sometimes we sang the entire song, but mostly it would peter out after the opening lines. Every so often, Latha would startle us by jumping into a high falsetto, but it was all par for the course. It was mostly old Hindi songs and there was a lot of shared nostalgia reflected our choices.

Antakshri was suggested and after some more general singing, we started a game of antaskshri and that went on till almost 1 AM. The game was a bit unconventional in that we did not stick to just Hindi songs - Vanitha contributed some Tamil songs and towards the end, Murali broke into some Kannada songs for the guys side. For some reason I was not allowed to sing any ghazals on the narrow technicality that they weren't 'movie' songs. The guys were a bit more into the songs themselves - between Sanjay, Rahul, Murali, and myself, we knew a good bit of the lyrics of our favorite songs and insisted on singing them all the way through, which caused some aggravation to the women who were more competitive and wanted to get through the songs quickly. Malini and Keerthi knew a lot of the newer songs which was a distinct blind spot for the guys, but we managed to keep pace. Through all this, Prem was a rather bored bystander, serving up two rounds of tea and desperately scouting for a cell phone to play some games on. He seemed truly bewildered that the rest of us knew all the same songs. To his credit, he tolerated us rather well. Hari must have had a long day - he was desperately trying to grab some shut-eye with Alekhya in his arms enveloped in singing of often sketchy pitch and tune. The older kids, who were still playing would come and stand at the end of the room and look on in some puzzlement before heading back to their games. Finally we called it a draw and an unusual evening had come to an end.

The first thing that almost everybody mentioned the next evening when we met for Murali's "surprise" BD party was that they had the songs running through their heads for a long time after we broke up the previous night. The strong hold these songs have on our collective conscious is quite remarkable. I am humming even as I type this!

Latha had organized a potluck dinner for MGD's (35+x)th birthday. It was to be a surprise, but mostly in that the first person to show up would yell 'surprise!' and that would be that. Not your traditional surprise, but much, much, easier to plan! The BD boy was in high spirits as usual and he was only more uplifted when Hari showed up with a bottle of 'Gila', straight from TJ. The food was uniformly very good (or maybe I was just really hungry after skipping lunch while playing golf :-)) - Malini had made potato bondas (with a secret stuffing of chilli pickle), there were roasted sweet potatoes (RD), fruit platter & bruschetta (Sanjay), daal (Keerti), Chicken (Keerthi), Eggplant (Vanitha) and of course Latha's outstanding cheesecake. She wanted me to compare that with the Bisibele baath, which also she had made. I never did give my verdict, so here it is - cheesecake by a length.

This being MGD's BD, poker was a given and we got started early. We broke up for cake cutting and then dinner. We played some more, but after some ups and downs, Latha went broke and we called it a night. There was no singing, but the tunes from the previous night were still, as the Eagles sang, "calling from far away." I wonder how long it will be before somebody shows up at the next quarterly with a Karaoke machine.

End of Season

Another NFL season came to an end yesterday with Superbowl 43 and a party for the same at the Reddy residence. There were fewer than 10 adults in attendance, what with folks being away for different reasons - India, Skiing, other parties, etc. The party itself was planned and announced in typical Hari fashion - strictly word-of-mouth with no use of electronic media whatsoever. The plan was to have a potluck dinner after the game with some snacking during the game.

We had gone to the Wild Animal Park in the mid-morning and arrived about 10 minutes after the game had started. Under pressure from the crowd, I setup the 'squares' game and after roping in the missing Kamaths (they arrived shortly before the game ended), we had 10 participants one of whom was SivaP. This is noteworthy because he only stayed for the first half, but managed to win 3 of the 5 available prizes. Geetha who showed up about 2 minutes before the game ended won the other two prizes. The rest of us were left holding the bag.

The game itself had its high and low points with some very dramatic changes of fortune. The Steelers led almost throughout except late in the fourth quarter when Arizona rallied to actually take the lead. Pittsburgh then had a late drive for the winning touchdown. RD, as the sole Steelers supporter, should have been pleased but was more distraught over missing out on one of the prizes when the Steelers came from behind to take the decisive lead. Ads, which are the highlight of Superbowls, were on the whole pretty disappointing. I can recall Hyundai's ad; GoDaddy had its usual nonsense while Pepsi, Sobe and a few others had some mystifying ones. Coke did a couple of their usual fairy tale style spots along with a reprise of their 'Mean Joe Green' ad, but with Polamalu. NBC had more than the usual share of ads promoting their own shows, with several being fairly inane.

Given that we were in the Reddy residence, there was the usual smack talk about 'royalty.' There were gleeful reminders of what was in store for the folks who spilled drinks or caused damage to the custom built toys. In between Hari got a call from Keerthi asking him to measure some photo frames. I was pretty sure that the tape measure was made of platinum - surely it couldn't be steel. There were similar comments about what sort of frames were being ordered. I learned about the following exchange that took place elsewhere: Rd mentioned that on his recent trip to India, he had some 'people' to receive him at the airport - you know the kind that whisks you past customs and immigration. Latha responded - "you mean the kind of people that wait for Keerthi when she arrives in India?" Rd: "No way! Keerthi has people waiting for her at the airport even when she is not arriving." To which Sanjay chimed in, "Yeah, what if she shows up?" I must say I was cracking up over the vision of a couple of guys waiting patiently outside Hyd airport day in and day out....

We even played a few hands of poker, interjected by one of the fastest dinner breaks. It was past 9pm when we left and the fans amongst us were left to ponder the 8 months till the start of next season.

You Can Call Me Bobby

Due to the overwhelming demand from my adoring readers (mgd expressed interest), here are some notes about the Sat (10/25) & Sun (10/26) events surrounding Dev's wedding.

Saturday
My parents were returning to India today after a stay of almost 4 months. We borrowed Vinay's minivan so that we could all go in one vehicle. We left home around 8.30am and were well in time for checking into the 1.10pm Cathay flight.
We left LAX around 12.30pm and started the 42 mile drive to Diamond Bar, where we were going to stay overnight. Traffic got a bit nasty and we were all getting hungry. We finally pulled off the 60 to find food and ended up in a McDonald's. Food was no good, but the new decor was pretty pleasing. The McCafe was decent also - Starbucks or Peet's is better I think. We eventually reached Ayres Suites in Diamond Bar, checked-in and tried to catch a nap. Nice rooms, with a mini-fridge and microwave in every room.
Folks were dressing up for the party, so Prem took some photos before we left - yet to see them. Cocktail party was in Covina - nice town, felt almost like the main drag in Santa Barbara. We were almost an hour late, but turned out that most folks were just trickling in. Party was in the clubhouse of a condo complex - interesting layout- there was a sitting area with very low seats and a deck outside that over looked the pool. There was another room that had an ancient tv and kids were able to watch some videos through the night.
It was a casual affair, the newly minted husband and wife were milling about greeting the guests. Donna's BIL (Mohit) who lives in London is in banking and I had a chat with him about the current crisis. I got insights from the inside. Food was mostly finger foods from Costco and Trader Joe's. Prem was spiking the margarita with extra tequila and gave me one of those. After a few sips I had to strategically dispose it.
The restrooms provided some challenges. They were accessed from the TV room, but had two doors, and you had to close the outer one since the inner one did not quite close. Figuring out if somebody was inside was a challenge since the outer door also got stuck. At one point I had gone in and found myself locked in. Turned out the the outer door had the lock on the outside (!) and our little guy, Abhi, had helpfully turned the lock. I felt a little silly banging on the door.
Eventually, the main floor was cleared and some dancing broke out. Both Dev and Donna were (somewhat reluctantly) pressed into the action, but they showed some moves. Mohit was the impressive dancer - that guy can shake a leg! Around 10-ish, we left along with the other Kumars.

Sunday
There was banging outside our door quite early which I ignored for a while. Finally opened the door and Rams and Jothis were ready for bkfast. We eventually headed down for the free buffet. It wasn't much, but ok. We tried playing some poker on three ipods, but the network was weak and the game kept exiting. Soon other folks came down for bkfast - Kapoors, Palakodetys (jr & sr).
We had a sorry lunch at Chilli's and returned to the room. All 8 kumars were now in one room since we decided to split the late checkout fee. 7 kumars were trying to take a nap and Arjun was watching a show on my computer. I gave him headphones to cut off the sound, but that strategy was rendered moot when he started laughing at the show. Amazingly we all got ready and headed out on time.
There was child care arranged at the reception, but that turned out to be mostly a bust. Kids were wandering out freely and the smaller ones were bawling their heads off and several parents were in attendance. Abhi was one such and eventually we gave up trying to keep him there and took him into the reception proper. The hall was filled with round tables and we were all assigned seating. At our table were p&v, s&s, k&h, and Sanjay & Bhoj. Sanjay stayed seated since he didn't want to expose the jeans that he had worn to the fancy party. Over 200 folks were expected. Appetizers had been served and Dev and Donna were greeting guests. It was a very festive occasion.
After a while the MC called the party to order and we got going with a series of speeches from close family and friends. The SD end was held up by Kaushik and Rahul. Kaushik highlighted the TG96 trip and by prior arrangement, we (ie, other participants on that trip) broke into cheers. Rahul mentioned drinking to Pink Floyd with the dude, but I don't recall much else. I felt like speaking myself - the whole hiking/outdoorsy side of Dev didn't come up. The family speeches were quite touching and when friends of Donna spoke about how she felt about Dev, I saw many a female eye being dabbed. Dev's sister (Deepa) spoke at length and a la "Cosmo" Kramer, we learnt that while Dev may be the Dude to us, he is "Bobby" to them. Finally, we got to see a short slide-show of Dev & Donna's pictures and the tables were released for dinner. Just before that, a gentleman came up and sang a song from the movie "Kohinoor." Very nice. There was also a dance by Dev's 5 (?) yr old niece that was really cute.
After dinner, the couple had undergone a sartorial shift - Dev was now in a smashing suit (the first time that he was not in an Indian outfit) along with a beautiful pink tie, that sort of reminded me of the Donald. They proceeded to cut the 3-tier cake and Donna had a surprise for Dev - she had been taking voice lessons (urged by Dev) and now sang a song for him. I was very impressed by her gumption to do that in front of 200 people.
Now it was time for the first dance and in the few weddings I have gone to here, the couple just does the first few bars of a slow number and then the parents join in and very soon the rest of the guests follow. Not so here. Dev & Donna had other plans - they had a carefully scripted dance prepared. When they segued into a tango, I knew they were very serious about the whole thing. They even had a finish planned for each routine. For those who know the real dude, this was very much in character.
It was getting late now and after taking a short turn around the dance floor it was time to leave. The gals (Keerthi, Latha, Vanitha) were having a good time on the dance floor. The Rams had to drive 7 hrs to Menlo Park and were last seen dashing out in their PJs (yeah, they changed before starting the drive). The drive back was uneventful and we got back home around 11pm.
It had been a whirlwind of a weekend - driving back & forth on Friday, my parents leaving, two receptions, emotional speeches, and the Dude getting married. I was still a bit dazed on Monday and it took the better part of the day to get back to normalcy.

Pick Your Poison

Yesterday we had a mini-Diwali celebration with a potluck dinner at La Casa Bhoj (LCB). Our contribution were Malini's 'paripu' vadas. Other entries included Chole (I encouraged folks to consume liberal quantities of this given that it was Diwali), couple of forms of rice; a dal; a combo of eggplant, potatoes, and salt; and dessert in the form of tapioca & semia kheer. The gracious host was dishing up "edible" chapatis (in the words of sivap). All folks were dressed up. Arjun & Abhishek have suddenly become fans of kurtas (or "jubba" as we call them) and were also in traditional outfits, willingly this time.

I had brought my camera and having borrowed Prem's flash spent quite some time experimenting with a 2-flash system. Despite my (& Prem's) best efforts I could not get the results I wanted and had to abandon plans of taking family portraits. Lathak and Prem sportingly modeled for the vast majority of my test shots while a number of others played cameo roles. I missed most of the conversation because of this fiddling - no doubt folks had intriguing and entertaining things to say.

We started eating and Harini (who had made the eggplant dish) was issuing warnings of high salt content. Siva, in his bid to be helpful, suggested that I mix the dish with rice and yogurt since this would, in his words, "make it almost tolerable." In retrospect, this comment, while innocent was not designed to strike the right chord with his spouse who was already feeling quite bad about the salty dish. As men are wont to do in such situations, Siva proceeded to dig himself a bigger hole by trying to explain and rationalize his comments. He even served himself a large helping of the dish to demonstrate his loyalty.

Then it was time for dessert and this time Harini was serving. She handed a large bowl of the kheer to Siva, who protested about the excessive quantity. Harini responded that she was giving him extra sugar to balance the extra salt that he had consumed. I was prompted to comment that, "This way, if the BP does not kill you, the sugar will." Considerable hilarity ensued and Rahul told Siva,"Pick your poison" to which I added, "and your spouse will make sure you get it." Harini expressed concern that this story was going provide more fodder just when she was finally putting the "topless cake" story behind her.

All in all, a pleasant time was had by all. Oddly, there was no election talk - maybe everybody is weary of the extended campaign. We did re-live some Seinfeld moments.

By now it was almost 10pm and kids were falling apart. P&V had made their exit a while ago and we were waiting for the host to finish his meal. The same could not be said of the others - at last check, MGD was still eating.

The Dude Gets Married

With RD's blog providing the latest inspiration, I was seeking an appropriate topic to start blogging. What better than the happy occasion of the dude tying the knot?

The wedding related events were spread over three days - the wedding-proper was in the Malibu temple on Friday (10/24), an informal cocktail party in Covina on Sat and finally the formal reception on Sunday in Diamond Bar. Malini and I were able to attend all three events.
Friday:My parents were still in town, so we were able to leave A&A at home. Driving to Malibu is not to be taken lightly, so we left early to ensure we would be on time. As is to be expected, there were no traffic delays and we got there over an hour early. Outside the temple was the dude in a white silk Kurta with painted feet and hands decorated with mehndi. As is my wont, I had lugged along my camera gear and used the opportunity to take some shots of Dev's family and the pujari setting up for the actual ceremonies. This had the unintended side-effect of the pujari annointing me the 'official' photographer.
Soon after, Donna and team showed up and Dev's sister (Deepa) proceeded to help complete her preparations. Dev was also completing his regalia and at this point they were seated on the two ends of a make-shift platform. I was struck by how low-key and stress-free everybody appeared to be. Things were moving at a gentle pace - nobody rushing around in a panic or doing last-minute scrambles. Eventually, Donna was ready and I got to take a couple of shots - I didn't get the results I was seeking, but at this point we were not totally relaxed either.
Snacks and drinks were served outside and the 'groom's party' was assembling to make the 20' approach to the temple entrance. I was asked to remain behind to photograph the arrival while Malini got to be part of the Dude-team. There was some confusion about how things were actually going to work since the ceremony was a bit of a melange of Andhra and Assamese traditions. Donna and friend were hanging around inside the temple with a confused air and when I asked her what was going on, she replied that she didn't really know and, "I think the organizers are confused as well." So I just waited.
I had had Dev pose at the entrance earlier and had carefully metered the scene since I was going to be shooting from inside a dark room into the brightly lit exterior. However, when the actual approach happened all my planning was for naught since the bridal party was essentially blocking the entrance!
After the groom's party made their entry into the temple folks started pelting each other with fist fulls of rice and cheering broke out for particularly forceful throws. I learned later on that such a 'rice fight' is traditional with Assamese weddings.
Dev was lead to the area set up for the wedding and the pujari proceeded with the ceremony. This part mostly involved Dev and his parents repeating several mantras after the priest and making some offerings. Rice offerings and water sprinkling (with mango leaves) were featured. Dev was then lead away and Donna was brought in for similar activities. Donna's aunt and uncle took part in the ceremony and they had a bit of a puzzled air about them since they were essentially being lead through an unfamiliar ceremony. The pujari was clearly experienced with such situations and directed them without any problems.
Now we were ready for the main part of the wedding and the pujari (who by now had decided that I was the "official" photographer) started issuing specific instructions to me about where to stand and what to photograph. Throughout the rest of the ceremony, he would routinely turn to me with questions such as, "Rajesh, are you happy? Did you get the shots?" or instruct the couple to pause or even rewind so that I could get a photo of a particular moment. It all got a bit humorous, but I also began to feel the weight of increased expectations. Of course, everybody became very accommodating of my rushing around and planting myself in their field of view.
A sari was held up in front of Donna and Dev was brought in and seated on the other side. Many mantras were said and Donna's uncle did the thread ceremony for Dev. A coconut (along with some rice & flowers) were placed in Donna's palm and her uncle placed her hands into Dev's from below the sari, that was still in place. This was the "kanya Daan." Dev and Donna then placed some jaggery and rice (yup, this was a prominent feature) on each others head and with their hands so positioned the sari was lifted. Close family and friends were then asked to bless the couple (who were frozen in tableau form with a hand on the other person's head), with what else, more rice. The ceremony then proceeded with much exchange of rice - culminating with an almost competitive pouring of copious quantities rice on each other's heads. It was all done with just the right mix of seriousness and playfulness.

After this, there was the traditional tying of the mangalsutra and exchange of garlands. The pujari tied the ends of their outfits and reminded them of the significance of this. Donna was also asked to touch Dev's feet and instructed (with a smile) that Dev was now her "God." This caused some amusement in the crowd and no doubt some wistful thoughts in more than one married guy in the assembled group. They then made the walk around the wedding arena with intertwined fingers and had the ring ceremony. First they exchanged rings and then Dev placed rings on Donna's toes. A mock fight was part of the deal - a couple of the rings were dropped into a pot of water and they both had to come up with the silver one (I think). Dev won the first go and the families demanded a retry. Donna won the second round, although there were allegations that he may have thrown the fight. All is fair in love and war and this was both. The couple were then seated in front of a fire and Dev made some more offerings. The pujari then took the two of them outside (of course with instructions to me to follow along). Outside they said some more prayers and surprise (!) - they flung rice into the air.

Lunch was next and it was catered by Woodlands. The star feature was the Bisi Bele Baath - I had to have a second helping! Of course there was also tamrind rice which I eschewed, but was told was rather tasty as well (but not quite on par with the BBB). Joor had supplied tea and after consuming ample quantities of the same, Malini and I said our goodbyes and headed back to SD.

More our group were present for the Sat and Sun events, so I'll blog about them only if there is sufficient interest. The wedding ceremonies were low key, but well done. Saturday's cocktail party was an informal gathering of close friends and family. Sunday's reception had clearly received the most planning and organization. It was beautiful and even my cynical, world weary self felt a tug or two.