Sir Vidiadhar Surajprasad (V.S.)Naipaul has always been a writer that has inspired strong reactions - both positive and negative. He was born in 1932 in Trinidad, the son of indentured laborers from India and has been living in England ever since winning a scholarship to Oxford. He received the Nobel prize for literature in 2001. He has always been hailed as a master of the craft, but his freely expressed thoughts on third world countries, Africa, Islam, etc have given pause to even his most ardent supporters.
Recently the New Yorker had a book review of a new, authorized, biography and I learnt some more unsavory aspects of his personal life. Even so, I feel compelled to write about his masterpiece - "A House for Mr.Biswas." This book was published in 1961 and tells the story of a Hindu Brahmin, Manoj Biswas, living in Trinidad, whose only goal in life is to have a house of his own. The story is very simple and indeed you know the ending right away - the book opens with the death of Biswas in his own house. So you already know that Biswas does get his own house and that he dies at the end. But the charm is in the telling - its writing of the highest quality by somebody who is a keen observer, albeit not a very sympathetic one. The character of Biswas is modeled loosely on Naipaul's father and this may have contributed to the nuanced portrayals. For anybody who enjoys good writing, this book is a must-read. The book should especially resonate with people of Indian origin.
Naipaul of course has written a lot about India - he started off with the rather negative "An Area of Darkness," moved grudgingly towards a more appreciative "India - A Million Mutinies Now" and has more recently been somewhat more 'ungrudging' in his praise for India.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Quantum of Solace - Bond 1G
Saw the new Bond movie last night and thought it was interesting enough to write about. Bond is probably the longest running movie series and although it looked to be in serious jeopardy with Timothy Dalton, it got back on track with Pierce Brosnan and has taken a turn towards almost serious movie making with the casting of Daniel Craig. A typical Bond movie is mostly fluff and about easy, low stress entertainment. It demands little of the viewer except to sit back and marvel at the stunts and gadgets. The mood is never heavy and while world annihilation is always on the cards, it is always done with a smirk, a wink and nudge of the elbow. Not so with QOS.
The average Bond movie fan (and I would be one) expects 3 'Gs' in every edition - Girls, Gadgets, and Goons. You get only one of them - Goons - in QOS. There are two characters that would fit the 'Girls' role, but while one spends all her time brooding and plotting revenge, a brief glimpse of the other's bare back is offered before she is rather unceremoniously drowned in crude oil. As for gadgets, there are exactly zero. The MI6 crew does make like John King and wave their hands over a large touch screen surface, but that is in-house and hardly counts as a Bond gadget. Now that I think about it, Bond does have a cell phone that is able to track a GPS tagged person and take close-up photos from across a stadium, but that seems almost mainstream these days.
There is almost no plot to speak of and unlike most other Bond movies, there is a lack of expansiveness - no sense of anything momentous or larger than life. It is less Ludlum and more Le Carre. Bond may be licensed to kill (& he certainly does plenty of that), but he may in fact be better off with a construction license - he is a one man wrecking ball in this movie. Almost every fight/stunt involved smashing walls, buildings, roads, tunnels, furniture, windows, you name it. The metaphor was stretched further - some of the action is set amidst actual construction.
There is a lot of action in the movie, but much of it is filmed so close up that it is very difficult to follow exactly what is going on. Perversely, this actually has the effect of putting the viewer in the midst of the action and may in fact have a greater impact. Of course, it also allows the director to not quite have to show how Bond gets away or finishes the action. Bond, being Bond, does go through most of the movie in a suit (once even in a tux, that in spite of being 'borrowed' from somebody else, fits him like a bespoke one), coming out of several intense action scenes with his outfit undisturbed. The locale tends to move around quite a bit - Italy, Haiti, London, Bolivia, Russia are all featured, but it is not always clear how Bond got from Point A to Point B, often seemingly instantaneously. The general lack of logic (or even any attempt at it) is rather stunning.
Why then do I still like the movie? Viewed as a traditional Bond movie, it is a failure. However, it is still a well made movie and ultimately the various elements add up to give a satisfying experience. It is going to fall apart if you try to dissect it even a little bit, but if you leave it alone, then I think you will like it. The filmmakers seem particularly prescient - the movie captures the zeitgeist almost perfectly and that gives it, despite all the obvious flaws, a visceral quality. Daniel Craig brings an increased physicality to the role, but his Bond is also mature enough to not actually enjoy the action. Even in the one mildly romantic scene he seems more duty-bound than entitled. Many of the settings are quite spectacular and in particular the desert scenes in Bolivia really stood out (especially after my recent visit to the Death Valley).
It would seem that the filmmakers are trying to break free from usual tropes of a Bond movie - a martini makes one fleeting appearance and I don't think he ever says, "Bond, James Bond." This portends a new arc for the Bond franchise and it would be interesting to see if this gives it a fresh lease of life or is just the last sputter of a dying fire.
The average Bond movie fan (and I would be one) expects 3 'Gs' in every edition - Girls, Gadgets, and Goons. You get only one of them - Goons - in QOS. There are two characters that would fit the 'Girls' role, but while one spends all her time brooding and plotting revenge, a brief glimpse of the other's bare back is offered before she is rather unceremoniously drowned in crude oil. As for gadgets, there are exactly zero. The MI6 crew does make like John King and wave their hands over a large touch screen surface, but that is in-house and hardly counts as a Bond gadget. Now that I think about it, Bond does have a cell phone that is able to track a GPS tagged person and take close-up photos from across a stadium, but that seems almost mainstream these days.
There is almost no plot to speak of and unlike most other Bond movies, there is a lack of expansiveness - no sense of anything momentous or larger than life. It is less Ludlum and more Le Carre. Bond may be licensed to kill (& he certainly does plenty of that), but he may in fact be better off with a construction license - he is a one man wrecking ball in this movie. Almost every fight/stunt involved smashing walls, buildings, roads, tunnels, furniture, windows, you name it. The metaphor was stretched further - some of the action is set amidst actual construction.
There is a lot of action in the movie, but much of it is filmed so close up that it is very difficult to follow exactly what is going on. Perversely, this actually has the effect of putting the viewer in the midst of the action and may in fact have a greater impact. Of course, it also allows the director to not quite have to show how Bond gets away or finishes the action. Bond, being Bond, does go through most of the movie in a suit (once even in a tux, that in spite of being 'borrowed' from somebody else, fits him like a bespoke one), coming out of several intense action scenes with his outfit undisturbed. The locale tends to move around quite a bit - Italy, Haiti, London, Bolivia, Russia are all featured, but it is not always clear how Bond got from Point A to Point B, often seemingly instantaneously. The general lack of logic (or even any attempt at it) is rather stunning.
Why then do I still like the movie? Viewed as a traditional Bond movie, it is a failure. However, it is still a well made movie and ultimately the various elements add up to give a satisfying experience. It is going to fall apart if you try to dissect it even a little bit, but if you leave it alone, then I think you will like it. The filmmakers seem particularly prescient - the movie captures the zeitgeist almost perfectly and that gives it, despite all the obvious flaws, a visceral quality. Daniel Craig brings an increased physicality to the role, but his Bond is also mature enough to not actually enjoy the action. Even in the one mildly romantic scene he seems more duty-bound than entitled. Many of the settings are quite spectacular and in particular the desert scenes in Bolivia really stood out (especially after my recent visit to the Death Valley).
It would seem that the filmmakers are trying to break free from usual tropes of a Bond movie - a martini makes one fleeting appearance and I don't think he ever says, "Bond, James Bond." This portends a new arc for the Bond franchise and it would be interesting to see if this gives it a fresh lease of life or is just the last sputter of a dying fire.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Goal Oriented Parenting
I was at the Golden Canyon trail head (in the Death Valley NP) waiting for some of the group to finish their hike. I was struggling (as is often our wont) to get some food into Arjun (who was a bit under the weather) and Changu asked if I used "goal-oriented" approaches. Which is a fancy name for the "If you eat this, then you can eat that" approach, where "this" is presumably something you want the kid to have while "that" is something the kid would rather have. Changu, of course immediately realized the problem - Arjun doesn't really have a "that." Even so, I replied that we try to avoid doing that. The one parenting class I attended stressed how providing additional food as an incentive to consuming food could lead to problems. Another point (which still makes a lot of sense) is to never link two things that are not really related. This food thing itself is a good example: if the kid is not eating because they are not hungry or interested in eating, providing access to some other food is not a great incentive. Another common example is "If you don't finish your lunch, we can't go to the park in the evening." (All my examples tend to be eating related for obvious reasons.) The eating has nothing to do with going to the park. Child psychologists tell us that such linkage will only cause the kid to think of the desired behavior (eating, doing homework, cleaning room, whatever) as a punishment. What you would like is for them to want to do the activity. A better approach is to show how the downside derives from the negative activity, as in: "If you don't finish your homework in time, then we won't have time for a book."
Having said all this, I must say that we are blatant abusers of this quasi-rule. Arjun and Abhi discovered the 'existence' of Santa a week ago and I arrived home one day to a breathless Abhi telling me that Santa was going to bring him gifts that night (he was convinced that night was Christmas). Of course he also had heard about the tooth fairy and included that mythical gift-giver in the same sentence until I was thoroughly confused as well. This is especially moot since he is quite far from loosing his milk teeth and getting visits from the tooth fairy. As far as Santa is concerned, they also know that they are supposed to be "good" to get gifts and we have been using that threat ("Santa is not going to bring you gifts", etc) as a way to get some desired behavior. I cringe inwardly whenever I make these threats, but hey, sometimes you just want them to listen!
We got another "incentive" to dangle this weekend - Antibiotics! Both Arjun and Abhi started on Amoxycillin (dispensed as a pink suspension with bubble gum flavor) on Saturday and they both absolutely love the stuff. They get a tsp of the stuff twice a day and the way they lick the spoon clean you would think it is some kind of nectar or that they are starving. We have of course promptly resorted to "Well, if you want the 'pink medicine' you better eat your breakfast", etc. As babies both of them hated any kind of medicine and we had to pretty much hold their noses to prevent them from spitting it out. This was especially true for Arjun, but it all changed abruptly one winter day in Dec 2005. He was almost 2 years old and he had been prescribed antibiotics (the same 'pink medicine') for the very first time, for an ear infection. The first couple of doses were the same struggle - somebody restraining his arms and legs, somebody else holding his nose, a third person to pour the stuff into his mouth, with all of us covered in pink, sticky stuff. We wondered how we were going do this for 9 more days. He had been miserable for almost a week before he started on the antibiotics. However, after just after two doses he was much better and he just started loving the stuff. He realized that medicines could actually make him feel better and after that day we have never had to struggle with giving him medication. This is, btw, a truism of parenting - just when you are thinking there is no hope, things suddenly change for the better.
Speaking of Santa and other imaginary magical things, kids are not alone in believing in them. How often do we as adults console ourselves with the prospect of irrational promises coming true? A couplet by the Urdu poet, Mirza Ghalib, goes as follows:
"Humko maloom hai jannat ki haqeeqat kya hai, phir bhi,
Dil ko khush rakhne ko, Ghalib, ye khayal acha hai."
Loosely translated: "I know what the reality of heaven is, but even so, it is a great concept for giving you hope."
Having said all this, I must say that we are blatant abusers of this quasi-rule. Arjun and Abhi discovered the 'existence' of Santa a week ago and I arrived home one day to a breathless Abhi telling me that Santa was going to bring him gifts that night (he was convinced that night was Christmas). Of course he also had heard about the tooth fairy and included that mythical gift-giver in the same sentence until I was thoroughly confused as well. This is especially moot since he is quite far from loosing his milk teeth and getting visits from the tooth fairy. As far as Santa is concerned, they also know that they are supposed to be "good" to get gifts and we have been using that threat ("Santa is not going to bring you gifts", etc) as a way to get some desired behavior. I cringe inwardly whenever I make these threats, but hey, sometimes you just want them to listen!
We got another "incentive" to dangle this weekend - Antibiotics! Both Arjun and Abhi started on Amoxycillin (dispensed as a pink suspension with bubble gum flavor) on Saturday and they both absolutely love the stuff. They get a tsp of the stuff twice a day and the way they lick the spoon clean you would think it is some kind of nectar or that they are starving. We have of course promptly resorted to "Well, if you want the 'pink medicine' you better eat your breakfast", etc. As babies both of them hated any kind of medicine and we had to pretty much hold their noses to prevent them from spitting it out. This was especially true for Arjun, but it all changed abruptly one winter day in Dec 2005. He was almost 2 years old and he had been prescribed antibiotics (the same 'pink medicine') for the very first time, for an ear infection. The first couple of doses were the same struggle - somebody restraining his arms and legs, somebody else holding his nose, a third person to pour the stuff into his mouth, with all of us covered in pink, sticky stuff. We wondered how we were going do this for 9 more days. He had been miserable for almost a week before he started on the antibiotics. However, after just after two doses he was much better and he just started loving the stuff. He realized that medicines could actually make him feel better and after that day we have never had to struggle with giving him medication. This is, btw, a truism of parenting - just when you are thinking there is no hope, things suddenly change for the better.
Speaking of Santa and other imaginary magical things, kids are not alone in believing in them. How often do we as adults console ourselves with the prospect of irrational promises coming true? A couplet by the Urdu poet, Mirza Ghalib, goes as follows:
"Humko maloom hai jannat ki haqeeqat kya hai, phir bhi,
Dil ko khush rakhne ko, Ghalib, ye khayal acha hai."
Loosely translated: "I know what the reality of heaven is, but even so, it is a great concept for giving you hope."
Friday, December 5, 2008
TG 2008 - Death Valley - Part 4
(This is the concluding post about this trip.)
I had heard about the 'Zabriskie Point' (or 'z-point as rdx likes to call it) as a great spot for sunrise and had determined to head there Sunday (day 4) morning. RDX was making elaborate plans for running/walking so that he could attack the breakfast buffet guilt-free. Vinay was a bit more circumspect about waking up early. In any case, I asked RDX to set the alarm for 5.10am and went to bed. After the alarm went off, he woke me up and snuggled deeper into the covers showing not even a hint of waking up. I got ready and periodically knocked on the connecting door, but there was no response from the Murthys. Finally around 5.30am, just as I was ready to head out, I knocked real hard and Sangeetha came to the door and told me that Vinay was too sleepy to get up. So, I headed out on my own. Later on I learnt that Sangeetha and Bhavana had woken up with all my knocking and weren't able to go back to sleep. I stopped by the front desk to get detailed directions and the lady there asked me to just follow the road and that about a 1/4 mile from there I would see a sign for the Z-point. I was a bit surprised since the map showed 5 miles. When I mentioned this, she said, "Oh, it could be 5 miles. I am not real good with distances." You have to be pretty bad with distances to confuse 5 miles for a 1/4 mile.
It was still dark, but right on the dot of 5 miles I saw the sign for the Z-point. There were a couple of other cars there and although it was about 5.45am, it was 72 deg outside. It was quite windy though. I gathered all my gear and walked up with another (Japanese) guy who seemed similarly prepared.
Upon inquiry he told me that this was the third time he was coming to photograph the sunrise. You have to walk up a short hill to get to a stage like area from where you look down into the Zabriskie Point. The sun was not up and we set up taking some general shots. I continued till about 7.30 and then returned to the hotel. Folks were still mostly sleeping. Since the buffet closed at 9am, everybody got going quickly and we walked over for the breakfast buffet. It was rather disappointing. The choices were poor and the food was only so-so. Some folks tried to make up with quantity.
There are lots of well known vista points near the FC area, so we set out right after breakfast. First stop was the southern most point we were going to hit - 'Badwater' which, at 282 ft below sea level, is the lowest point in the western hemisphere. The badwater basin used to have a lake thousands of years ago,
that evaporated leaving behind upto 5 ft of salt. Now the whole area is just covered with salt and small puddles of water after it rains. The salt is almost pure table salt (Malini and I tasted it). We walked on to the salt basin and spend some time admiring the view and taking pictures. Then we started driving back towards FC, making stops at all the various vista/hike points. First was the Natural Bridge.
Arjun and Abhi were not going to come on the hike, so I stayed in the car with them while the rest of the gang went first. Malini hurried back so that I could go as well. I quickly did the hike and returned to the car. It was a gentle climb most of the way. The natural bridge was about mid-way and then the trail
culminated with a shiny rock formation that is called the 'dry waterfall' since it looks like there is water falling, but of course, there really isn't any. I actually ran all the way back since it was easier than walking down hill on the loose gravel that covered most of the trail.
Next stop was at the Devil's golf course - it not a real course of course, but the mud and salt have created such a treacherous terrain that somebody commented that "these were links so bad that only a
devil could play golf here" and a vista point was born. It is just a quick stop - the approach road is once again unpaved and Vinay needed some convincing to continue on it. It was one of the better roads, thankfully.
Next was going to be the Artists Drive, but Vinay was desperate for a potty break so we headed to the next trail head - Golden Canyon - which is basically on the other side of the Z-point. Murty (for old times sake) made a beeline for the chemical toilet and others decided to tackle lunch. We were going to take turns doing the hike anyway and I wasn't feeling too hungry so I decided to head in first. For some reason, Arjun wanted to come along. The info said it was an "easy" 1-mile hike. So I took him along. It was an easy, albeit slightly uphill, walk. We ambled along at a reasonable pace with me taking pictures and keeping an eye out to see if Arjun was getting tired. I felt we had walked almost as much as the natural bridge hike (which is also marked as 1-mile), but the end was not in sight.
I asked some folks walking back and they said that I had at least as much to go! Arjun was tiring and there was no way he would make it all the way without me having to carry him. One couple assured me that going further wasn't going to yield any better views and that was all the encouragement I needed - we turned around. When Arjun and I got back, others were done with the utilitarian lunch (bread & cheese) and were ready to head out. I made a similar meal for Arjun and myself and settled in the shade of Vinay's minivan for the gang to return. It was almost 3pm when they got back.
We had talked about visiting the Borax works museum and then going back to the Artists drive for sunset (around 4.30pm), but folks were tired and we decided to just do the Artists drive and forget about the Borax works. Quick note: Borax was mined for a long time in the DV and museum (very close to FC ranch) is supposedly quite nice. Anyway, we headed back to the Artists drive and apart from one stop to take pictures (only I got out) we finished the drive before 4pm.
The Artists drive is so named because it presents views of several mountains that seem to have dabs of paint applied on them. There are some unusual yellows, browns, reds, blues, and greens to be seen. There are some good spots for sunset photos, but we didn't stay too long.
I suggested checking out the Zabriskie point and folks readily concurred. It was getting close to sunset when we got there. I stayed in the car with the boys, but had to signal vigorously for Malini to get back since Abhi declared a potty alert and Arjun was fast asleep. They didn't see my wild semaphoring for quite some time, but luckily Abhi was in sufficient control to avoid an accident. I went again and squeezed off some more pictures at the z-point, but didn't really wait for all the sunset colors to appear. I sort of regretted that when we started driving since the sky rapidly became very colorful.
Back at the ranch, the original plan was to go to the pool, but only Vinay could be convinced to join me. Malini brought Abhi also, while Arjun wanted to stay back and watch TV while RDX was planning to browse. The pool was very nice - really warm. Abhi also enjoyed the pool. After showers we all headed to the 49-ers cafe for dinner. We bought a tub of ice cream which we split later while we played poker and the kids watched a movie. RDX felt bad for the 4 kumars in one queen bed (although we kept insisting that we had been fine) and made a bed for himself on the carpet. I had the luxury of a bed all to myself.
Monday morning, we all got ready by 9am and went back to the 49-ers cafe for breakfast. No buffet today. We filled up on the most expensive gas of the trip - $3.10 per gallon - and headed out.
We had one more stop to make - Dantes View. This is 13 miles off 190 (which is the road out of the park) and climbs quite a bit. We were rewarded by a gorgeous view. I had to deploy my 200-400mm lens and as a final act, I decided to take a group shot. 
The lens required that folks had to get quite far away from the camera so that we could all fit in the frame which led to some wisecracking at my expense. Vinay attempted to drive the point home by trying to locate me with his binoculars while I set up the shot. We finally headed out of there by 11.30am.
The drive to San Diego was uneventful, with an undistinguished stop at Buffalo Wild Wings in Murrieta. We stopped at the Murthys since RD had ended up in our car for the dinner stop (the Murthys had found an Indian place nearby - apparently Vinay had some sort of craving for paneer masala or something).
The planet Jupiter was forming a triangle in the sky with the moon and Venus and I attempted to take a picture of that with limited success. Sangeetha kindly obliged with tea and after consuming the same we headed home to Dormouse Rd.
I had been getting bad vibes as the trip got closer, but most everything went off well. True, we missed out on a couple of sights, but perhaps that will be incentive to return. We did get to experience one of the truly unique spots in the world and everybody had a good time. Can't really ask for much more from a vacation.
Footnote: Perhaps there was a DV jinx. A week later all four of us are unwell, with Abhi being the latest. Both Abhi and Arjun are on antibiotics and Malini needs a dose quite urgently. According to the doc, Arjun's rash was not an allergic reaction, but caused by a strep infection. Apparently they have been seeing cases for about 2 weeks.
I had heard about the 'Zabriskie Point' (or 'z-point as rdx likes to call it) as a great spot for sunrise and had determined to head there Sunday (day 4) morning. RDX was making elaborate plans for running/walking so that he could attack the breakfast buffet guilt-free. Vinay was a bit more circumspect about waking up early. In any case, I asked RDX to set the alarm for 5.10am and went to bed. After the alarm went off, he woke me up and snuggled deeper into the covers showing not even a hint of waking up. I got ready and periodically knocked on the connecting door, but there was no response from the Murthys. Finally around 5.30am, just as I was ready to head out, I knocked real hard and Sangeetha came to the door and told me that Vinay was too sleepy to get up. So, I headed out on my own. Later on I learnt that Sangeetha and Bhavana had woken up with all my knocking and weren't able to go back to sleep. I stopped by the front desk to get detailed directions and the lady there asked me to just follow the road and that about a 1/4 mile from there I would see a sign for the Z-point. I was a bit surprised since the map showed 5 miles. When I mentioned this, she said, "Oh, it could be 5 miles. I am not real good with distances." You have to be pretty bad with distances to confuse 5 miles for a 1/4 mile.
It was still dark, but right on the dot of 5 miles I saw the sign for the Z-point. There were a couple of other cars there and although it was about 5.45am, it was 72 deg outside. It was quite windy though. I gathered all my gear and walked up with another (Japanese) guy who seemed similarly prepared.
Upon inquiry he told me that this was the third time he was coming to photograph the sunrise. You have to walk up a short hill to get to a stage like area from where you look down into the Zabriskie Point. The sun was not up and we set up taking some general shots. I continued till about 7.30 and then returned to the hotel. Folks were still mostly sleeping. Since the buffet closed at 9am, everybody got going quickly and we walked over for the breakfast buffet. It was rather disappointing. The choices were poor and the food was only so-so. Some folks tried to make up with quantity.
There are lots of well known vista points near the FC area, so we set out right after breakfast. First stop was the southern most point we were going to hit - 'Badwater' which, at 282 ft below sea level, is the lowest point in the western hemisphere. The badwater basin used to have a lake thousands of years ago,
that evaporated leaving behind upto 5 ft of salt. Now the whole area is just covered with salt and small puddles of water after it rains. The salt is almost pure table salt (Malini and I tasted it). We walked on to the salt basin and spend some time admiring the view and taking pictures. Then we started driving back towards FC, making stops at all the various vista/hike points. First was the Natural Bridge.Arjun and Abhi were not going to come on the hike, so I stayed in the car with them while the rest of the gang went first. Malini hurried back so that I could go as well. I quickly did the hike and returned to the car. It was a gentle climb most of the way. The natural bridge was about mid-way and then the trail
culminated with a shiny rock formation that is called the 'dry waterfall' since it looks like there is water falling, but of course, there really isn't any. I actually ran all the way back since it was easier than walking down hill on the loose gravel that covered most of the trail. Next stop was at the Devil's golf course - it not a real course of course, but the mud and salt have created such a treacherous terrain that somebody commented that "these were links so bad that only a
devil could play golf here" and a vista point was born. It is just a quick stop - the approach road is once again unpaved and Vinay needed some convincing to continue on it. It was one of the better roads, thankfully. Next was going to be the Artists Drive, but Vinay was desperate for a potty break so we headed to the next trail head - Golden Canyon - which is basically on the other side of the Z-point. Murty (for old times sake) made a beeline for the chemical toilet and others decided to tackle lunch. We were going to take turns doing the hike anyway and I wasn't feeling too hungry so I decided to head in first. For some reason, Arjun wanted to come along. The info said it was an "easy" 1-mile hike. So I took him along. It was an easy, albeit slightly uphill, walk. We ambled along at a reasonable pace with me taking pictures and keeping an eye out to see if Arjun was getting tired. I felt we had walked almost as much as the natural bridge hike (which is also marked as 1-mile), but the end was not in sight.
I asked some folks walking back and they said that I had at least as much to go! Arjun was tiring and there was no way he would make it all the way without me having to carry him. One couple assured me that going further wasn't going to yield any better views and that was all the encouragement I needed - we turned around. When Arjun and I got back, others were done with the utilitarian lunch (bread & cheese) and were ready to head out. I made a similar meal for Arjun and myself and settled in the shade of Vinay's minivan for the gang to return. It was almost 3pm when they got back. We had talked about visiting the Borax works museum and then going back to the Artists drive for sunset (around 4.30pm), but folks were tired and we decided to just do the Artists drive and forget about the Borax works. Quick note: Borax was mined for a long time in the DV and museum (very close to FC ranch) is supposedly quite nice. Anyway, we headed back to the Artists drive and apart from one stop to take pictures (only I got out) we finished the drive before 4pm.
The Artists drive is so named because it presents views of several mountains that seem to have dabs of paint applied on them. There are some unusual yellows, browns, reds, blues, and greens to be seen. There are some good spots for sunset photos, but we didn't stay too long. I suggested checking out the Zabriskie point and folks readily concurred. It was getting close to sunset when we got there. I stayed in the car with the boys, but had to signal vigorously for Malini to get back since Abhi declared a potty alert and Arjun was fast asleep. They didn't see my wild semaphoring for quite some time, but luckily Abhi was in sufficient control to avoid an accident. I went again and squeezed off some more pictures at the z-point, but didn't really wait for all the sunset colors to appear. I sort of regretted that when we started driving since the sky rapidly became very colorful.
Back at the ranch, the original plan was to go to the pool, but only Vinay could be convinced to join me. Malini brought Abhi also, while Arjun wanted to stay back and watch TV while RDX was planning to browse. The pool was very nice - really warm. Abhi also enjoyed the pool. After showers we all headed to the 49-ers cafe for dinner. We bought a tub of ice cream which we split later while we played poker and the kids watched a movie. RDX felt bad for the 4 kumars in one queen bed (although we kept insisting that we had been fine) and made a bed for himself on the carpet. I had the luxury of a bed all to myself.
Monday morning, we all got ready by 9am and went back to the 49-ers cafe for breakfast. No buffet today. We filled up on the most expensive gas of the trip - $3.10 per gallon - and headed out.
We had one more stop to make - Dantes View. This is 13 miles off 190 (which is the road out of the park) and climbs quite a bit. We were rewarded by a gorgeous view. I had to deploy my 200-400mm lens and as a final act, I decided to take a group shot. 
The lens required that folks had to get quite far away from the camera so that we could all fit in the frame which led to some wisecracking at my expense. Vinay attempted to drive the point home by trying to locate me with his binoculars while I set up the shot. We finally headed out of there by 11.30am. The drive to San Diego was uneventful, with an undistinguished stop at Buffalo Wild Wings in Murrieta. We stopped at the Murthys since RD had ended up in our car for the dinner stop (the Murthys had found an Indian place nearby - apparently Vinay had some sort of craving for paneer masala or something).
The planet Jupiter was forming a triangle in the sky with the moon and Venus and I attempted to take a picture of that with limited success. Sangeetha kindly obliged with tea and after consuming the same we headed home to Dormouse Rd. I had been getting bad vibes as the trip got closer, but most everything went off well. True, we missed out on a couple of sights, but perhaps that will be incentive to return. We did get to experience one of the truly unique spots in the world and everybody had a good time. Can't really ask for much more from a vacation.
Footnote: Perhaps there was a DV jinx. A week later all four of us are unwell, with Abhi being the latest. Both Abhi and Arjun are on antibiotics and Malini needs a dose quite urgently. According to the doc, Arjun's rash was not an allergic reaction, but caused by a strep infection. Apparently they have been seeing cases for about 2 weeks.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
TG 2008 - Death Valley - Part 3
We had a 2-part agenda for Saturday (day 3): move from Stovepipe Wells to Furnace Creek and explore the Scotty's Castle area (north-east part) of the park. The first pre-requisite was to get on the road by 9am. With this mind, most everybody was up by 7am and we got the tea and eggs going. This time we remembered to make the tiny hole in each egg (easily done using the supplied pin) and the results were much better. Arjun was not a whole lot better - his face was still very red and the rash was all over his body. Just mild fever, though. We actually managed to head out by 9.15am.
We stopped at the ranger station to check road conditions and realized that we could not go to the 'Racetrack' which is one of the more unusual (& still unexplained) sights in the DV. The ranger was emphatic about us needing a 4x4 and that too with heavy duty tires since the approach road (27 miles long) had lots of sharp rocks. He could not have been more dismissive when we mentioned that one of our cars was a minivan. I was quite disappointed since this was one of the spots I was really looking forward to seeing and photographing.
We continued towards Scotty's Castle and reached there around 10.45am. There was a tour starting at 11am and Vinay bought tickets for everybody. The tour was quite interesting, especially with the guide doing his best to paint a picture of the time and the characters. The story behind the 'castle' is quite fascinating, especially when you consider that neither is it really a castle nor was it owned by Scotty. Here is link to the wikipedia entry about this place.
Even though the castle was at 3000 ft elevation, the day felt quite hot. We were hoping to find lunch in the gift shop/cafe after the tour, but realized that we had very limited choices - just stuff from a vending machine. We all managed a real 'adjustment' lunch - ice cream, yogurt, bread + cheese, etc. After lunch, we decided to hike up the hill behind the castle to Scotty's grave. Since Arjun was quite tired, Malini and I took turns climbing up the hill.
About a mile or so on the approach road to Scotty's castle is the turn-off for the 'Ubehebe' crater. This is a volcanic crater that is about 550 ft deep. The whole area is covered with black volcanic rocks and soil, which made for another dramatically different landscape. This is quite typical of the DV - you get startling shifts in the terrain, vegetation (what little there is of it) and landscape as you go from one part of the park to another. Incidentally, close to the Ubehebe crater is the access road for the 'Racetrack,' which I could of course only look at rather wistfully. When we got up to the crater, we realized that we could actually hike down into it. It is a short, but steep hike, made more difficult by the loose gravel that covered the path. RD, Malini, and I headed down and after slithering down about half way we ran into a scout troop making their way up.
They pointed out an easier (but longer) way to the left side that was along the wash and hence had no loose gravel. The slope was also more gentle and one could actually walk upright. Anyway, we continued our journey down and were soon at the bottom. After a couple of quick photos we started back up. RD decided to take the route up the wash, while Malini and I headed up the same way we had gone down - loose gravel and all. It was really difficult. Luckily we had our hiking poles and that helped a great deal.
It was time to head to Furnace Creek - we made no more stops and reached FC by sunset. Once again we were able to get adjoining rooms and we moved all our stuff in. The rooms were a bit smaller than Stovepipe, but nicer. RD was thrilled about the free WiFi and declared that he was done with all sightseeing. I knew people liked to surf the net, but seeing RD in action was a revelation. He used to stay up late into the night doing nothing but browsing the net on his Nokia palmtop. It is hard to tell what he is doing with all the accumulated knowledge.
After washing up, all of us headed out to check out the FC ranch - it is a fairly large area and nicely maintained. There is a swimming pool (kept at 85 deg with warm spring water), lighted tennis courts, and a kids park with a large lawn. There were several dining choices as well.
Lots of folks were parked around the dining area with laptops and palmtops, browsing away. Kind of sad, really! After much debate we settled on the '49-ers' cafe for dinner - this was going to our first real 'eat-out' meal of the trip. The food was good and everybody enjoyed the meal. After dinner it was essentially the same ritual as the previous days - bath and movie for the kids and poker for the adults. There wasn't enough room for a roll-away, so the four of us managed on one of the queen beds while RD settled into the other one for a long night of browsing.
We stopped at the ranger station to check road conditions and realized that we could not go to the 'Racetrack' which is one of the more unusual (& still unexplained) sights in the DV. The ranger was emphatic about us needing a 4x4 and that too with heavy duty tires since the approach road (27 miles long) had lots of sharp rocks. He could not have been more dismissive when we mentioned that one of our cars was a minivan. I was quite disappointed since this was one of the spots I was really looking forward to seeing and photographing.
We continued towards Scotty's Castle and reached there around 10.45am. There was a tour starting at 11am and Vinay bought tickets for everybody. The tour was quite interesting, especially with the guide doing his best to paint a picture of the time and the characters. The story behind the 'castle' is quite fascinating, especially when you consider that neither is it really a castle nor was it owned by Scotty. Here is link to the wikipedia entry about this place.
Even though the castle was at 3000 ft elevation, the day felt quite hot. We were hoping to find lunch in the gift shop/cafe after the tour, but realized that we had very limited choices - just stuff from a vending machine. We all managed a real 'adjustment' lunch - ice cream, yogurt, bread + cheese, etc. After lunch, we decided to hike up the hill behind the castle to Scotty's grave. Since Arjun was quite tired, Malini and I took turns climbing up the hill. About a mile or so on the approach road to Scotty's castle is the turn-off for the 'Ubehebe' crater. This is a volcanic crater that is about 550 ft deep. The whole area is covered with black volcanic rocks and soil, which made for another dramatically different landscape. This is quite typical of the DV - you get startling shifts in the terrain, vegetation (what little there is of it) and landscape as you go from one part of the park to another. Incidentally, close to the Ubehebe crater is the access road for the 'Racetrack,' which I could of course only look at rather wistfully. When we got up to the crater, we realized that we could actually hike down into it. It is a short, but steep hike, made more difficult by the loose gravel that covered the path. RD, Malini, and I headed down and after slithering down about half way we ran into a scout troop making their way up.
They pointed out an easier (but longer) way to the left side that was along the wash and hence had no loose gravel. The slope was also more gentle and one could actually walk upright. Anyway, we continued our journey down and were soon at the bottom. After a couple of quick photos we started back up. RD decided to take the route up the wash, while Malini and I headed up the same way we had gone down - loose gravel and all. It was really difficult. Luckily we had our hiking poles and that helped a great deal. It was time to head to Furnace Creek - we made no more stops and reached FC by sunset. Once again we were able to get adjoining rooms and we moved all our stuff in. The rooms were a bit smaller than Stovepipe, but nicer. RD was thrilled about the free WiFi and declared that he was done with all sightseeing. I knew people liked to surf the net, but seeing RD in action was a revelation. He used to stay up late into the night doing nothing but browsing the net on his Nokia palmtop. It is hard to tell what he is doing with all the accumulated knowledge.
After washing up, all of us headed out to check out the FC ranch - it is a fairly large area and nicely maintained. There is a swimming pool (kept at 85 deg with warm spring water), lighted tennis courts, and a kids park with a large lawn. There were several dining choices as well.
Lots of folks were parked around the dining area with laptops and palmtops, browsing away. Kind of sad, really! After much debate we settled on the '49-ers' cafe for dinner - this was going to our first real 'eat-out' meal of the trip. The food was good and everybody enjoyed the meal. After dinner it was essentially the same ritual as the previous days - bath and movie for the kids and poker for the adults. There wasn't enough room for a roll-away, so the four of us managed on one of the queen beds while RD settled into the other one for a long night of browsing.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
TG 2008 - Death Valley - Part 2
Day 2 (Friday) started early for me. RDX, who was sleeping on a roll-away in our room had set the alarm, but promptly went back to sleep after waking me up. Vinay responded to a knock on the connecting door and the two of us headed out around 6am to catch sunrise at the dunes. The sand was still damp, but the sunrise colors were quite nice. When we got back, Bhavana and Pallavi were already up while the boys were still sleeping. We got some tea going and broke out the egg cooker for its inaugural run. We missed a simple, yet crucial step (making a small hole in each egg) which resulted in at least one of the eggs cracking during the cooking which caused the water to boil out. However, it turned out fine and everybody enjoyed their eggs.
Arjun was not doing too well and we noticed that his face was red all over. On closer examination, we found that he had broken out in a rash over his entire body. We realized he had had an allergic reaction to the Motrin. It was only then that we recalled that he had had a similar reaction to "Dolo" which is an ibuprofen brand name in India. I went to the General Store, but the only thing they had was a couple of pills of Benadryl. Sangeetha was able to pull up some dosage info on her PDA and based on that I gave him about a 1/4 pill of Benadryl. Luckily she also had some Tylenol which we gave him for his fever.
It was past 11am by the time we all headed out. First up was the Mosaic Canyon which was only a couple of miles away. Unfortunately those 2 miles were on a gravel road of rather sketchy state. We were doing ok with our SUV, but Vinay was getting nervous in his mini-van. Eventually he was talked into continuing and we reached the trail head without incident. All of us headed into the canyon. It was nice, if not particularly spectacular. Several places we had do some scrambling, especially with the kids.
We walked till we reached a somewhat large opening and then after a short rest (& some desi snacks), we headed back. Arjun was distinctly tiring now.
After a quick potty break for the kids back at our room, we headed towards the 'Aguereberry Point,' reputedly a better view point than the more well-known and more accessible, 'Dantes View.' Or at least that was the plan. After driving about 9 miles, we checked the map again and realized that a portion of the remaining 20-odd miles required 4x4 vehicles, or at least a high clearance one. Either way Vinay was out. So we ruled that out and also a visit to the 'Charcoal Kilns' for the same reason. We reversed course and headed back past Stovepipe Wells and towards the 'Salt Creek,' which is part way towards Furnace Creek. Along the way we stopped at the 'Devils Corn Fields' which is basically a whole area covered with a particular kind of shrubbery. Many things in the DV are given names that involve 'Devil', "Hell', etc.
The salt creek is basically a shallow creek that is home to a particular kind of fish - the 'Death Valley Pupfish'. The creek itself is almost filled with a special kind of plant that is able to survive in the highly saline water. The fish were not visible since they are dormant this time of the year. A board walk a little over a mile long meanders through a good portion of the creek. Lunch (idlis) came first and then we headed out on the board walk. It is a very picturesque place and somewhat startling to see flowing water (albeit very shallow) and a large expanse of greenery in the midst of completely bare mountains.
Since we had some more day light, we charted a roundabout route back to Stovepipe Wells which took us through some vast open expanses of the park. We reached back around 5.30pm and the rest of the evening was largely a repeat of day 1: pav bhajji for dinner, poker (with Vinay winning and Sangeetha losing), and tea. RD, Vinay, and I drove to the dunes with our tea to enjoy the night sky. Amazingly, we could see a glow in the sky from beyond the mountains to the east - Vegas lights!
Arjun was not doing too well and we noticed that his face was red all over. On closer examination, we found that he had broken out in a rash over his entire body. We realized he had had an allergic reaction to the Motrin. It was only then that we recalled that he had had a similar reaction to "Dolo" which is an ibuprofen brand name in India. I went to the General Store, but the only thing they had was a couple of pills of Benadryl. Sangeetha was able to pull up some dosage info on her PDA and based on that I gave him about a 1/4 pill of Benadryl. Luckily she also had some Tylenol which we gave him for his fever.
It was past 11am by the time we all headed out. First up was the Mosaic Canyon which was only a couple of miles away. Unfortunately those 2 miles were on a gravel road of rather sketchy state. We were doing ok with our SUV, but Vinay was getting nervous in his mini-van. Eventually he was talked into continuing and we reached the trail head without incident. All of us headed into the canyon. It was nice, if not particularly spectacular. Several places we had do some scrambling, especially with the kids.
We walked till we reached a somewhat large opening and then after a short rest (& some desi snacks), we headed back. Arjun was distinctly tiring now.
After a quick potty break for the kids back at our room, we headed towards the 'Aguereberry Point,' reputedly a better view point than the more well-known and more accessible, 'Dantes View.' Or at least that was the plan. After driving about 9 miles, we checked the map again and realized that a portion of the remaining 20-odd miles required 4x4 vehicles, or at least a high clearance one. Either way Vinay was out. So we ruled that out and also a visit to the 'Charcoal Kilns' for the same reason. We reversed course and headed back past Stovepipe Wells and towards the 'Salt Creek,' which is part way towards Furnace Creek. Along the way we stopped at the 'Devils Corn Fields' which is basically a whole area covered with a particular kind of shrubbery. Many things in the DV are given names that involve 'Devil', "Hell', etc.
The salt creek is basically a shallow creek that is home to a particular kind of fish - the 'Death Valley Pupfish'. The creek itself is almost filled with a special kind of plant that is able to survive in the highly saline water. The fish were not visible since they are dormant this time of the year. A board walk a little over a mile long meanders through a good portion of the creek. Lunch (idlis) came first and then we headed out on the board walk. It is a very picturesque place and somewhat startling to see flowing water (albeit very shallow) and a large expanse of greenery in the midst of completely bare mountains.
Since we had some more day light, we charted a roundabout route back to Stovepipe Wells which took us through some vast open expanses of the park. We reached back around 5.30pm and the rest of the evening was largely a repeat of day 1: pav bhajji for dinner, poker (with Vinay winning and Sangeetha losing), and tea. RD, Vinay, and I drove to the dunes with our tea to enjoy the night sky. Amazingly, we could see a glow in the sky from beyond the mountains to the east - Vegas lights!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
TG 2008 - Death Valley - Part 1
(I am breaking up this trip report so that I don't get any complaints about long blogs. :-))
The more interesting/quirky trips seem to happen during Thanksgiving. There was of course TG96 that took a prominent place in Dev's wedding reception. Then there was the Palm Springs-Joshua Tree trip of 2001, where 'Montevista' was added to the lexicon. And some folks still recall the stench that rose from the Salton Sea during our TG 2002 stay in Borrego Springs. This year, it was Death Valley National Park. I have tried to visit DV many times, but I never started the planning in time. This time I decided early and given the dearth of other options, several other folks also joined me in making the reservations.
The trip looked to be jinxed, however. Several folks were skeptical about the destination, let alone planning to spend four days there. By the early part of the TG week, the Reddy's and PV had dropped out for various reasons. RDX, who had always had his doubts, was barely hanging in there as prospects for evening poker sessions evaporated. The Murthys however, held firm and even sportingly offered to take up poker if that would make for a happier RDX. Apparently it did (although RDX would come to regret this later) and the trip was on in earnest.
The plan was to spend two nights at Stovepipe Wells (west side of DV) and two nights at the more well known Furnace Creek Ranch. (Stay tuned for a separate blog on recommendations for a DV visit.) We left early on Thursday and after a quick sync-up at the Murthy's RB residence, we started the journey around 7am in 2 cars - Murthys & RD in Vinay's minivan and us in our Rx-300. We quickly got out of sync on the freeway after we took an exit for an Abhi potty break and they took a different exit for gas. We really diverged after we took 215 and they stayed on I-15 apparently because I told them to do so (despite all evidence to the contrary). We eventually took 395 and then just followed the signs to DV. We lost cell coverage soon after we left 395 and we had no more updates from the other car. The drive was pleasant and the views were quite nice. We stopped a couple of times to take pictures and reached Stovepipe Wells just before 1pm.
Arjun had woken up on Wednesday with a fever and we almost didn't send him to school. However, after a dose of Motrin (first time - we always used Tylenol before) he felt a lot better and insisted on going (they were going to have a TG party at school). The same thing repeated on Wed evening and Thurs morning - his temperature would rise, we would give him Motrin and he would be up and about in almost no time. We were chiding ourselves for not having tried Ibuprofen earlier. We gave him another dose Thursday afternoon. Little did we know that this would come back to haunt us later.
We were in our room by 1.15pm, but there was no sign of the other car. It was almost 2.30pm when they showed up. Turned out they took the long way - going north on 395 past China Lake before taking a east-ward road into the park - adding almost 60 miles to their drive. Lunch was idlis (by Malini) and after some tea, we headed out to catch sunset on the Mesquite Flats sand dunes that are short drive from our lodge. We were in for a bit of a let down - the storm over the previous 2 days had made the sand damp and somewhat packed.
This made walking on them easier, but largely destroyed the feel of the classic sand dune. 
Still, the kids and adults had good fun traversing the dunes and we managed to climb up a tall one just in time for the sunset.
The sun sets early - around 4.30pm - this time of the year. So, we were done and back in our rooms by about 5.30pm. The rooms were adjoining, with a connecting door. This turned out to be a very convenient arrangement - kids would gather in one room and the adults could chat (or play poker) in the other. Another round of tea and as the kids took bath, some of us headed off to heat food for dinner - there is a microwave in the local General Store that we could use. I tried the free WiFi in the hotel lounge, but it was pitifully slow.
Dinner was pav bhajji (contributions from both Vinay & RD) and it was time to initiate V&S into the intricacies of Texas Hold-em poker. Being the smart cookies that they are, they caught on quickly and the game was on. It was quickly apparent that Sangeetha didn't care to fold and that if Vinay stayed in, you were in trouble. Vinay and I managed to eke out some gains, Malini had a small loss and RD and Sangeetha were the big losers. Another round of tea and it was time for bed. I was planning to head out early to catch sunrise on the dunes and promises were being made by several folks about joining me.
The more interesting/quirky trips seem to happen during Thanksgiving. There was of course TG96 that took a prominent place in Dev's wedding reception. Then there was the Palm Springs-Joshua Tree trip of 2001, where 'Montevista' was added to the lexicon. And some folks still recall the stench that rose from the Salton Sea during our TG 2002 stay in Borrego Springs. This year, it was Death Valley National Park. I have tried to visit DV many times, but I never started the planning in time. This time I decided early and given the dearth of other options, several other folks also joined me in making the reservations.
The trip looked to be jinxed, however. Several folks were skeptical about the destination, let alone planning to spend four days there. By the early part of the TG week, the Reddy's and PV had dropped out for various reasons. RDX, who had always had his doubts, was barely hanging in there as prospects for evening poker sessions evaporated. The Murthys however, held firm and even sportingly offered to take up poker if that would make for a happier RDX. Apparently it did (although RDX would come to regret this later) and the trip was on in earnest.
The plan was to spend two nights at Stovepipe Wells (west side of DV) and two nights at the more well known Furnace Creek Ranch. (Stay tuned for a separate blog on recommendations for a DV visit.) We left early on Thursday and after a quick sync-up at the Murthy's RB residence, we started the journey around 7am in 2 cars - Murthys & RD in Vinay's minivan and us in our Rx-300. We quickly got out of sync on the freeway after we took an exit for an Abhi potty break and they took a different exit for gas. We really diverged after we took 215 and they stayed on I-15 apparently because I told them to do so (despite all evidence to the contrary). We eventually took 395 and then just followed the signs to DV. We lost cell coverage soon after we left 395 and we had no more updates from the other car. The drive was pleasant and the views were quite nice. We stopped a couple of times to take pictures and reached Stovepipe Wells just before 1pm.
Arjun had woken up on Wednesday with a fever and we almost didn't send him to school. However, after a dose of Motrin (first time - we always used Tylenol before) he felt a lot better and insisted on going (they were going to have a TG party at school). The same thing repeated on Wed evening and Thurs morning - his temperature would rise, we would give him Motrin and he would be up and about in almost no time. We were chiding ourselves for not having tried Ibuprofen earlier. We gave him another dose Thursday afternoon. Little did we know that this would come back to haunt us later.
We were in our room by 1.15pm, but there was no sign of the other car. It was almost 2.30pm when they showed up. Turned out they took the long way - going north on 395 past China Lake before taking a east-ward road into the park - adding almost 60 miles to their drive. Lunch was idlis (by Malini) and after some tea, we headed out to catch sunset on the Mesquite Flats sand dunes that are short drive from our lodge. We were in for a bit of a let down - the storm over the previous 2 days had made the sand damp and somewhat packed.
This made walking on them easier, but largely destroyed the feel of the classic sand dune. 
Still, the kids and adults had good fun traversing the dunes and we managed to climb up a tall one just in time for the sunset.The sun sets early - around 4.30pm - this time of the year. So, we were done and back in our rooms by about 5.30pm. The rooms were adjoining, with a connecting door. This turned out to be a very convenient arrangement - kids would gather in one room and the adults could chat (or play poker) in the other. Another round of tea and as the kids took bath, some of us headed off to heat food for dinner - there is a microwave in the local General Store that we could use. I tried the free WiFi in the hotel lounge, but it was pitifully slow.
Dinner was pav bhajji (contributions from both Vinay & RD) and it was time to initiate V&S into the intricacies of Texas Hold-em poker. Being the smart cookies that they are, they caught on quickly and the game was on. It was quickly apparent that Sangeetha didn't care to fold and that if Vinay stayed in, you were in trouble. Vinay and I managed to eke out some gains, Malini had a small loss and RD and Sangeetha were the big losers. Another round of tea and it was time for bed. I was planning to head out early to catch sunrise on the dunes and promises were being made by several folks about joining me.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
The Shield
One of my favorite TV shows, "The Shield" came to an end yesterday. The series finale was last night. For those who haven't seen or heard about it, it is the story of four cops in a crime ridden LA neighborhood. These cops are members of a special 'strike team' that is meant to target gangs and drug dealers. The detectives are corrupt, but not incompetent. A couple of them are even family guys and really care about them. If 'gritty' could be applied to a show, this would be it. It featured superlative performances from pretty much the entire cast (lead by Michael Chiklis as the lead detective of the strike team) and along the way they had top notch actors (Glenn Close, Forrest Whitaker) join the cast for a season or two.
What made the show so compelling were the story lines they were willing to explore - given that the show was on cable (FX) and late night, they were able to delve into a number of areas that would be taboo for network tv. You felt that this how cops really behaved - not like the PC stuff you see on Law & Order or CSI. There was no glamor - they spoke, acted, and dressed the way you would expect in 'real life.' No character was entirely good or bad - you probably wouldn't approve, but you mostly understood their motivation.
It is not an easy show to watch - the language is often profane and there is a lot of violence and is meant for, as the pre-show warning says, "For Mature Audiences" only. It is not all guns and yelling though - there is significant story line involving another detective who uses old fashioned reasoning and analysis to solve crimes and a reasonable share of tender moments. As the series wound down, the story line involving one of the strike team members who has a falling out with the rest of the team was truly gut wrenching. And he was a guy who didn't inspire a lot of sympathy during most of the series.
Overall, I highly recommend the show. If you liked 'Pulp Fiction' I think you will like this one. Compared to "The Shield" even "The Sopranos" is a bit too glamorous, but that could be because "The Sopranos" was a larger, more sweeping saga, while "The Shield" is more myopic and small scale, but yet, utterly compelling.
What made the show so compelling were the story lines they were willing to explore - given that the show was on cable (FX) and late night, they were able to delve into a number of areas that would be taboo for network tv. You felt that this how cops really behaved - not like the PC stuff you see on Law & Order or CSI. There was no glamor - they spoke, acted, and dressed the way you would expect in 'real life.' No character was entirely good or bad - you probably wouldn't approve, but you mostly understood their motivation.
It is not an easy show to watch - the language is often profane and there is a lot of violence and is meant for, as the pre-show warning says, "For Mature Audiences" only. It is not all guns and yelling though - there is significant story line involving another detective who uses old fashioned reasoning and analysis to solve crimes and a reasonable share of tender moments. As the series wound down, the story line involving one of the strike team members who has a falling out with the rest of the team was truly gut wrenching. And he was a guy who didn't inspire a lot of sympathy during most of the series.
Overall, I highly recommend the show. If you liked 'Pulp Fiction' I think you will like this one. Compared to "The Shield" even "The Sopranos" is a bit too glamorous, but that could be because "The Sopranos" was a larger, more sweeping saga, while "The Shield" is more myopic and small scale, but yet, utterly compelling.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Of Brothers and Sons
Arjun called me a little while ago to tell me that Abhi had bit him on his leg. He didn't seem to know the reason, but quite likely there was some tug of war and Abhi escalated it to his version of going nuclear - biting. Arjun is not really the innocent either - he is quite capable of dishing out blows and shoves and the occassional kick.
In general though, they play well together and (thankfully) seem to actually enjoy each others company. Abhi clearly looks up to his brother and will follow his example to the tiniest detail, to the point of being parrot like. Arjun on his part, relishes this role and takes it very seriously. As a parent one often wonders if all the advice and admonishments are having any effect - so many times it feels like you are talking to a wall for all the reaction you get. However, we get some reassurance when we sometimes ask Arjun to take care of Abhi (say in a store or in a park) and he will proceed to instruct and advice Abhi with almost the exact wording that we have used with him. Arjun is also quite protective of Abhi. Abhi does these little projects in his day care (chef's hat, mail box, etc) that he usually says are for his "amma". When I made a mock complaint to Abhi that he hadn't made anything for his "acha", Arjun immediately defended him saying that the "police hat" (which never made it home) had been made for me. Also, he gives all of Abhi's craft work his full attention and insists on pinning them up on the wall in his room right next to his stuff. Another instance was his effort to pacify Abhi about going to day care. He would give him assurances of "Don't worry, Abhi, Eata will come to your day care." (See related post.) When Malini would ask him why he was giving him false hope, he would reply, "I am just trying to distract him to make him feel better." I think some of this protective instinct also comes from his Montessori education - in that system the older students are encouraged and indeed are required to take care of the younger ones.
On the flip side, kids also learn to manipulate quite early. Last week, Shuba had agreed to look after Abhi for about an hour while Malini took Arjun for his first piano class. Abhi was all bought into the idea of a play date with Suraj and when Shuba came to pick him up, he even ran to her car. Abruptly though, he changed his mind and ran back all teary and declared in between sobs that he wanted to stay with him amma. No amount of cajoling could change his mind and Malini had to abandon the piano class, which was kind of sad since Arjun had been looking forward to it. What was really galling was that Malini noticed that he was actually smiling between his sobs when he thought nobody was looking.
And then they will say or do something that will completely disarm you. Malini was scrubbing her feet with a pumice stone and Abhi enquired why she was doing that (he has questions about anything different you do). Malini replied that her feet were not doing well since she had not taken care of them. Abhi asks why not? In a bid to curry some sympathy, Malni responded, "Because there is nobody to look after me." Abhi is quiet for a bit and then replied, "But you are amma, right? You should take care of yourself."
In general though, they play well together and (thankfully) seem to actually enjoy each others company. Abhi clearly looks up to his brother and will follow his example to the tiniest detail, to the point of being parrot like. Arjun on his part, relishes this role and takes it very seriously. As a parent one often wonders if all the advice and admonishments are having any effect - so many times it feels like you are talking to a wall for all the reaction you get. However, we get some reassurance when we sometimes ask Arjun to take care of Abhi (say in a store or in a park) and he will proceed to instruct and advice Abhi with almost the exact wording that we have used with him. Arjun is also quite protective of Abhi. Abhi does these little projects in his day care (chef's hat, mail box, etc) that he usually says are for his "amma". When I made a mock complaint to Abhi that he hadn't made anything for his "acha", Arjun immediately defended him saying that the "police hat" (which never made it home) had been made for me. Also, he gives all of Abhi's craft work his full attention and insists on pinning them up on the wall in his room right next to his stuff. Another instance was his effort to pacify Abhi about going to day care. He would give him assurances of "Don't worry, Abhi, Eata will come to your day care." (See related post.) When Malini would ask him why he was giving him false hope, he would reply, "I am just trying to distract him to make him feel better." I think some of this protective instinct also comes from his Montessori education - in that system the older students are encouraged and indeed are required to take care of the younger ones.
On the flip side, kids also learn to manipulate quite early. Last week, Shuba had agreed to look after Abhi for about an hour while Malini took Arjun for his first piano class. Abhi was all bought into the idea of a play date with Suraj and when Shuba came to pick him up, he even ran to her car. Abruptly though, he changed his mind and ran back all teary and declared in between sobs that he wanted to stay with him amma. No amount of cajoling could change his mind and Malini had to abandon the piano class, which was kind of sad since Arjun had been looking forward to it. What was really galling was that Malini noticed that he was actually smiling between his sobs when he thought nobody was looking.
And then they will say or do something that will completely disarm you. Malini was scrubbing her feet with a pumice stone and Abhi enquired why she was doing that (he has questions about anything different you do). Malini replied that her feet were not doing well since she had not taken care of them. Abhi asks why not? In a bid to curry some sympathy, Malni responded, "Because there is nobody to look after me." Abhi is quiet for a bit and then replied, "But you are amma, right? You should take care of yourself."
Monday, November 24, 2008
Chasing after sunk cost
One trait that distinguishes humans from animals is that humans care about 'sunk cost' while animals don't. There is actually serious research that underscores this: See paper. Basically, we humans tend to keep investing in lost causes simply because we have already invested in them. This is clearly self perpetuating - the more you invest, the more the unwillingness to pull away. Animals don't seem to exhibit this behavior - a predator chasing its prey will pull up and stop if the prey starts pulling away and not simply keep going because it has already chased the prey for a while. Marketers love to study such compulsions on the part of humans because it gives them insight into what kind of campaigns will succeed. I am wondering if this insight could apply to a number of our everyday actions.
Take the obsession with not wanting to "waste food." This is often used to justify shoving down that last morsel, well past the point of over eating. The sunk cost in the food is not going to come back whether the food is consumed or not. That starving child in Africa is not going to be satiated because you overate. Will consuming the food in a manner unlikely to yield the intended benefits really constitute "not wasting?" Or are we simply investing more resources (weight gain, bloating, indigestion, or whatever else one gets from over-eating) to justify the already sunk cost (of the prepared food)? Perhaps a more rational response would be to monitor what actually gets consumed and then prepare the next meal accordingly.
Another instance that may be particular to parenting goes as follows: you take the effort to plan an outing (park, zoo, beach, where ever) that you think will appeal to the kids. You get there and they are not that interested in the available activities. How do you respond? Many parents get all worked up and angrily announce that if they don't start cooperating and having some fun, then darn it, this is the "last time we'll ever take you anywhere!" Of course, it is the frustration talking and of course, part of it is for the effect - maybe this threat (even if clearly unenforceable) will get them to realize that all this effort was for them to have fun. I contend that this is just another case of taking on additional cost (loss of composure on your part, kids feeling bad about being yelled at, etc) in order to justify the sunk cost of planning and executing the outing. Better solution? Enquire calmly why they are not enjoying the outing. Suggest that they should have told you before you headed out. Remember this for the next time. Also, remember that kids don't always have to make sense - can we adults explain all our actions/reactions at all times? (ok, this last point doesn't have much to do with the main theme of this blog, but it kinda felt germane.)
My yoga master is often commenting on how humans have made their bodies slaves to their minds. I believe this is the fundamental cause for the above described irrational behavior. The positive thing is that we can use the power of that same mind to realize this and not repeat such actions. Can we really be totally rational? Of course not - that would make us robots and not very interesting. But watch out for the cases of chasing after sunk cost in your day to day life - I am willing to wager that you will find them to be more common than you might have expected.
Take the obsession with not wanting to "waste food." This is often used to justify shoving down that last morsel, well past the point of over eating. The sunk cost in the food is not going to come back whether the food is consumed or not. That starving child in Africa is not going to be satiated because you overate. Will consuming the food in a manner unlikely to yield the intended benefits really constitute "not wasting?" Or are we simply investing more resources (weight gain, bloating, indigestion, or whatever else one gets from over-eating) to justify the already sunk cost (of the prepared food)? Perhaps a more rational response would be to monitor what actually gets consumed and then prepare the next meal accordingly.
Another instance that may be particular to parenting goes as follows: you take the effort to plan an outing (park, zoo, beach, where ever) that you think will appeal to the kids. You get there and they are not that interested in the available activities. How do you respond? Many parents get all worked up and angrily announce that if they don't start cooperating and having some fun, then darn it, this is the "last time we'll ever take you anywhere!" Of course, it is the frustration talking and of course, part of it is for the effect - maybe this threat (even if clearly unenforceable) will get them to realize that all this effort was for them to have fun. I contend that this is just another case of taking on additional cost (loss of composure on your part, kids feeling bad about being yelled at, etc) in order to justify the sunk cost of planning and executing the outing. Better solution? Enquire calmly why they are not enjoying the outing. Suggest that they should have told you before you headed out. Remember this for the next time. Also, remember that kids don't always have to make sense - can we adults explain all our actions/reactions at all times? (ok, this last point doesn't have much to do with the main theme of this blog, but it kinda felt germane.)
My yoga master is often commenting on how humans have made their bodies slaves to their minds. I believe this is the fundamental cause for the above described irrational behavior. The positive thing is that we can use the power of that same mind to realize this and not repeat such actions. Can we really be totally rational? Of course not - that would make us robots and not very interesting. But watch out for the cases of chasing after sunk cost in your day to day life - I am willing to wager that you will find them to be more common than you might have expected.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
A Teachable Moment
Malini found a new PBS program for the kids to watch - "Sid the science kid." As the name suggests, they try to impart some basic science info. What I didn't bargain for (maybe the name of the main character should have alerted me) was the "jokes" that the show included. They run sort of along the following lines:
"How do you stop a fish from smelling?"
"I don't know. How?"
(This is the only acceptable response, you aren't allowed to guess.)
"You hold its nose."
(You have to hold your nose while saying this, which imparts the necessary nasal tone.)
Arjun was quite taken by this new game (maybe something in his genes as well) and Abhi was too, except that he didn't quite grasp the notion of a punch line, specifically that each joke has its own punch line. A couple of days ago I came home to this question:
Arjun: "What did one shirt say to another shirt?"
Me: "I don't know. What?" (I wasn't just playing along, I really had no clue.)
Arjun: "Nothing! Shirts can't talk, silly!"
(Me, grimacing, but trying to be a sport.)
Apparently there was a follow-up:
Arjun: "Why did one shirt chase the other shirt?"
Me: "I don't know. Why?"
Arjun:"Because they were playing tag!" Hillarious stuff.
Abhi certainly thought so, but he was a little confused about the two different jokes and ended up combining the question of the first one ("What did one shirt say to the other shirt?") with the second punch line ("Because they were playing tag."). Not just that, he started applying it to everything around the house. For instance:
Abhi: "Aeta, What did one banana say to the other banana?"
('Aeta' or more correctly, 'Cheta' is Malayalam for elder brother.)
Arjun (playing along): "I don't know. What?"
Abhi (in a triumphant voice): "Because they were playing tag!"
Now, this was sort of ok the first 10-15 times, but after that even Arjun gave up and tried to explain to Abhi that the two jokes were different. ("Abhi, in the first one, they are talking, not playing tag.") When that failed, he attempted an illustration:
Arjun:"See, I'll show you. What did one Sid-the-science-kid say to the other Sid-the-science-kid?"
(He was picking somebody who would actually talk.)
Abhi (being well-versed in the protocol of this joke): "I don't know. What?"
Arjun (talking directly at Abhi): "Hello, Sid, how do you do? What are you doing, Sid?"
Not much of a punch line, but hey, it was supposed to be an example. Instead, Abhi, who by now has lost all context interjected rather emphatically:
"I am not Sid, I am Abhi!"
"How do you stop a fish from smelling?"
"I don't know. How?"
(This is the only acceptable response, you aren't allowed to guess.)
"You hold its nose."
(You have to hold your nose while saying this, which imparts the necessary nasal tone.)
Arjun was quite taken by this new game (maybe something in his genes as well) and Abhi was too, except that he didn't quite grasp the notion of a punch line, specifically that each joke has its own punch line. A couple of days ago I came home to this question:
Arjun: "What did one shirt say to another shirt?"
Me: "I don't know. What?" (I wasn't just playing along, I really had no clue.)
Arjun: "Nothing! Shirts can't talk, silly!"
(Me, grimacing, but trying to be a sport.)
Apparently there was a follow-up:
Arjun: "Why did one shirt chase the other shirt?"
Me: "I don't know. Why?"
Arjun:"Because they were playing tag!" Hillarious stuff.
Abhi certainly thought so, but he was a little confused about the two different jokes and ended up combining the question of the first one ("What did one shirt say to the other shirt?") with the second punch line ("Because they were playing tag."). Not just that, he started applying it to everything around the house. For instance:
Abhi: "Aeta, What did one banana say to the other banana?"
('Aeta' or more correctly, 'Cheta' is Malayalam for elder brother.)
Arjun (playing along): "I don't know. What?"
Abhi (in a triumphant voice): "Because they were playing tag!"
Now, this was sort of ok the first 10-15 times, but after that even Arjun gave up and tried to explain to Abhi that the two jokes were different. ("Abhi, in the first one, they are talking, not playing tag.") When that failed, he attempted an illustration:
Arjun:"See, I'll show you. What did one Sid-the-science-kid say to the other Sid-the-science-kid?"
(He was picking somebody who would actually talk.)
Abhi (being well-versed in the protocol of this joke): "I don't know. What?"
Arjun (talking directly at Abhi): "Hello, Sid, how do you do? What are you doing, Sid?"
Not much of a punch line, but hey, it was supposed to be an example. Instead, Abhi, who by now has lost all context interjected rather emphatically:
"I am not Sid, I am Abhi!"
Monday, November 17, 2008
Murphy Was An Amateur
I had always thought that I had a special talent for self-inflicted injuries (for instance, slamming a car door on my thumb and losing the nail in the process), but Malini soon put paid to that assumption. Several stories are already in circulation - getting burnt trying to iron a shirt while actually wearing it is a well known one, but I have a couple more to add to the canon.
A couple of months ago she was sporting a bruise on her nose - the result of having brought the trunk door of her RX-300 down on it. Now, closing the trunk of her car is something that she does on a regular basis, perhaps even once a day, so it is hard to chalk this one up to unfamiliarity. The hydraulic lifts on the door don't work so good and so you have to push it down with some force to close the door - ensuring that the injury would serious enough even for Malini, to merit a mention. Things got a bit more interesting a couple of weeks ago when she banged the same nose on the lid of our clothes washer. For those amongst you that are puzzled about this, let me outline how you achieve this. You start with a top loading washer that has a full laundry basket resting on the lid. Then you decide that you want to check what is inside the washer, but don't really want to bother with shifting the basket. So you try to lift the lid while simultaneously bring your face down towards the opening and realize a fraction too late that you have miscalculated how much the weight of the laundry basket will allow you to actually lift the lid.
A new chapter was written yesterday. Malini asks me if I could do a taste test of a new daal dish she was trying, adding casually that she couldn't really taste much since she had burnt her mouth. Well, turns out she did a bit more than that - the daal she tried to taste was so hot that she burnt her tongue and scalded the roof of her mouth. The skin peeled off and she had to spit pieces out. The tongue is constantly making contact with the roof, so reminders of the raw surface are frequent. On the positive side, they do say that the mouth heals very fast.
A couple of months ago she was sporting a bruise on her nose - the result of having brought the trunk door of her RX-300 down on it. Now, closing the trunk of her car is something that she does on a regular basis, perhaps even once a day, so it is hard to chalk this one up to unfamiliarity. The hydraulic lifts on the door don't work so good and so you have to push it down with some force to close the door - ensuring that the injury would serious enough even for Malini, to merit a mention. Things got a bit more interesting a couple of weeks ago when she banged the same nose on the lid of our clothes washer. For those amongst you that are puzzled about this, let me outline how you achieve this. You start with a top loading washer that has a full laundry basket resting on the lid. Then you decide that you want to check what is inside the washer, but don't really want to bother with shifting the basket. So you try to lift the lid while simultaneously bring your face down towards the opening and realize a fraction too late that you have miscalculated how much the weight of the laundry basket will allow you to actually lift the lid.
A new chapter was written yesterday. Malini asks me if I could do a taste test of a new daal dish she was trying, adding casually that she couldn't really taste much since she had burnt her mouth. Well, turns out she did a bit more than that - the daal she tried to taste was so hot that she burnt her tongue and scalded the roof of her mouth. The skin peeled off and she had to spit pieces out. The tongue is constantly making contact with the roof, so reminders of the raw surface are frequent. On the positive side, they do say that the mouth heals very fast.
Friday, November 14, 2008
No Escape
Every parent has likely experienced this - making a throwaway statement to their kid only to to have it come back and get you in the posterior (or "bumbalati" as Arjun & Abhi call it). This is just a mild example of that - it can get much worse.
We started Abhi in a day care last week and he hates it. Mostly he hates the idea of being left alone - he was all gung-ho about the prospect of day care until he realized that his big brother would not be there with him. Then he started campaigning for me to stay in day care with him. In a bid to pacify him, I told him, "Sure, I'll come" and then (very cleverly, I thought) added, "But I have to first ask my boss. If he says ok, then I'll come to your day care." He calmed down and I patted myself on back and left for work. As I reached work, I got a phone call and a very tearful Abhi asks, "What did your boss say?" Hmm... hadn't expected this, but I quickly replied that I had not asked my boss yet. Then realizing that this question would not go away, I added,
"But I don't think I will be able to ask him today."
"Why acha?" Ah, the dreaded "why?"
"Because he is not feeling well."
"Why is he not feeling well?"
"He has a cold."
"He has a cold? How did he get a cold?"
"Um..ah...he went out in the rain."
"He went out in the rain? Why did he go out in the rain?"
"Uh...he had go somewhere." The strain of the conversation was getting to me.
"He had to go somewhere? Did he run?"
"Yes, he ran very fast."
"He ran very fast, acha? Why did he run very fast?"
I had to make this stop.
"Ok Abhi, acha has to go now. bye." And quickly hung up.
We started Abhi in a day care last week and he hates it. Mostly he hates the idea of being left alone - he was all gung-ho about the prospect of day care until he realized that his big brother would not be there with him. Then he started campaigning for me to stay in day care with him. In a bid to pacify him, I told him, "Sure, I'll come" and then (very cleverly, I thought) added, "But I have to first ask my boss. If he says ok, then I'll come to your day care." He calmed down and I patted myself on back and left for work. As I reached work, I got a phone call and a very tearful Abhi asks, "What did your boss say?" Hmm... hadn't expected this, but I quickly replied that I had not asked my boss yet. Then realizing that this question would not go away, I added,
"But I don't think I will be able to ask him today."
"Why acha?" Ah, the dreaded "why?"
"Because he is not feeling well."
"Why is he not feeling well?"
"He has a cold."
"He has a cold? How did he get a cold?"
"Um..ah...he went out in the rain."
"He went out in the rain? Why did he go out in the rain?"
"Uh...he had go somewhere." The strain of the conversation was getting to me.
"He had to go somewhere? Did he run?"
"Yes, he ran very fast."
"He ran very fast, acha? Why did he run very fast?"
I had to make this stop.
"Ok Abhi, acha has to go now. bye." And quickly hung up.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Dutch Courage
I took a flight to San Jose earlier today and originally this was going to be a mildly humorous post about the minor mishaps I had getting to my flight, but that can wait for another time. I seem to be always dashing around airports and gates - there is got be a blog in all those near misses.
Anyway, our flight boarded relatively early for a commuter flight, but as we were getting ready to leave, one more guy joined us and occupied the seat across the aisle from me. What struck me immediately was the smell of alcohol coming off of him. He was dressed quite well - suit, overcoat, and a top hat, but seemed a little fidgety. I put it down to the drink. I focused on my magazine and didn't pay him much attention. After take off, he had a murmured conversation with the flight attendant who then brought him some vodka. I overheard him say that he had flown from NY to Chicago, Chicago to SD, and now SD to San Jose.
I was listening to some podcasts for most of the flight and didn't really look much at our friend. I did notice that he got another little bottle of vodka just before we started coming in. I had to switch everything off for the approach and it registered on me that the flight was coming down quite rapidly and that made me a little queasy. Apparently that was nothing compared to what was happening to the guy across the aisle. Something was clearly bothering him - his eyes were screwed shut and he seemed to be fighting something down. Occasionally he would puff as if to work through some pain. Sometimes he would violently shake his hands and other times he seemed to be fighting down something welling up in his throat. I was fairly convinced that the guy was going to hurl. Seeing him struggle, I was wondering whether I should offer him the barf-bag - surely he knew about it? He was so close to me that I was sure I was going to get the brunt of it if he did puke.
His mannerisms got increasingly panicky and didn't really stop even after we landed. I saw him scrounging around his coat pocket for something - probably something to throw up into, I was convinced. I kept glancing at him (mostly to be prepared when he decided to hurl) and as we were taxiing in, he was still clearly unhappy. I realized he had noticed my glances when he suddenly looked my way and said, "Sorry about all that, I am just not a good flyer, especially in such a small plane." That explained a lot - what we had been seeing were near-panic attacks.
Silence followed and I felt compelled to ask, "Do you just get nervous during take-offs and landings?" No, he said, it is pretty much the whole flight, especially in such a tiny cabin. Then he added, "My fiance and her daughter were killed in a plane crash last year. Since then it is hard for me to fly." I didn't know what to say. He took out a picture of a kid, kissed it, and put it back in his wallet.
Eventually the door was opened and he sprang up to leave - I let him go ahead since he clearly had a more urgent need to be off that plane. As we were leaving, the cockpit door was open. He walked up to the door, reached into his coat pocket and took out some money. I was thinking, is he going to tip the flight attendant who helped him with the drinks? He wasn't. Instead, he reached into the cockpit and handed the money to the pilot with the words, "Pilot, thanks for bring us in safely. Have a drink on me." So much for first impressions.
Anyway, our flight boarded relatively early for a commuter flight, but as we were getting ready to leave, one more guy joined us and occupied the seat across the aisle from me. What struck me immediately was the smell of alcohol coming off of him. He was dressed quite well - suit, overcoat, and a top hat, but seemed a little fidgety. I put it down to the drink. I focused on my magazine and didn't pay him much attention. After take off, he had a murmured conversation with the flight attendant who then brought him some vodka. I overheard him say that he had flown from NY to Chicago, Chicago to SD, and now SD to San Jose.
I was listening to some podcasts for most of the flight and didn't really look much at our friend. I did notice that he got another little bottle of vodka just before we started coming in. I had to switch everything off for the approach and it registered on me that the flight was coming down quite rapidly and that made me a little queasy. Apparently that was nothing compared to what was happening to the guy across the aisle. Something was clearly bothering him - his eyes were screwed shut and he seemed to be fighting something down. Occasionally he would puff as if to work through some pain. Sometimes he would violently shake his hands and other times he seemed to be fighting down something welling up in his throat. I was fairly convinced that the guy was going to hurl. Seeing him struggle, I was wondering whether I should offer him the barf-bag - surely he knew about it? He was so close to me that I was sure I was going to get the brunt of it if he did puke.
His mannerisms got increasingly panicky and didn't really stop even after we landed. I saw him scrounging around his coat pocket for something - probably something to throw up into, I was convinced. I kept glancing at him (mostly to be prepared when he decided to hurl) and as we were taxiing in, he was still clearly unhappy. I realized he had noticed my glances when he suddenly looked my way and said, "Sorry about all that, I am just not a good flyer, especially in such a small plane." That explained a lot - what we had been seeing were near-panic attacks.
Silence followed and I felt compelled to ask, "Do you just get nervous during take-offs and landings?" No, he said, it is pretty much the whole flight, especially in such a tiny cabin. Then he added, "My fiance and her daughter were killed in a plane crash last year. Since then it is hard for me to fly." I didn't know what to say. He took out a picture of a kid, kissed it, and put it back in his wallet.
Eventually the door was opened and he sprang up to leave - I let him go ahead since he clearly had a more urgent need to be off that plane. As we were leaving, the cockpit door was open. He walked up to the door, reached into his coat pocket and took out some money. I was thinking, is he going to tip the flight attendant who helped him with the drinks? He wasn't. Instead, he reached into the cockpit and handed the money to the pilot with the words, "Pilot, thanks for bring us in safely. Have a drink on me." So much for first impressions.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
A Butterfly Flaps its Wings
It was the summer of '91, I was a grad student in Blacksburg, Va and I had just bought my first car - a 1984 Nissan Sentra. It didn't have a cassette deck (CDs were a luxury) and so I invested in one, but being a starving (ok, maybe not actually starving) student, I hooked it up myself. Some of the wiring was a tad confusing, but it seemed to work. Soon after, I was taking a couple of friends on an outing and the guy in the back seat comments, "Hey, how come your rear speakers are not working?" Innocent enough? Maybe, but that little comment lead to a car break-in, being shot at, almost going to court, a broken window, and a shattered windshield. Far fetched? Not so much...
I, of course jumped to the conclusion that I must not have wired something correctly. I yanked out the deck from the dashboard and started connecting wires that were hanging loose. At one point there was a crackle and I noticed that my clock was no longer working - I had shorted it out. A bit disappointing, but I ploughed on. Very soon there was another crackle and the deck, my brand new Pioneer Cassette deck, was no longer operational. Now that hurt. But, its not without reason that I am the designated customer service negotiator - I called the company and they agreed to repair it. I sent it in and was now without any kind of music system - not even radio.
Now, not having a music system was ok for tooling around Blacksburg, but the following weekend we were heading out on a 200 mile drive to an amusement park. A friend had a small boom box that he often took in his (equally ancient) car and he offered to lend me the same. It had a cigarette lighter adapter and so, we were all set. We even taped it to the dashboard so that nobody had to hold it all the time. Road trip was great and we returned late in the night and I went to bed without cleaning out my car. The next morning (a Sunday), a friend called to say that there appeared to be broken glass near my car. I ran down and sure enough, somebody had broken my car window in order to steal the $20 boom box. Now I not only had to replace my friend's boom box, but I also had get a new window. Thankfully, the thief had very considerately broken the rear window which didn't slide and so was not as expensive to fix as the front ones. I was able to find a replacement at a junk yard, but that plus the install put me $100 in the hole.
A week later, my 'repaired' Pioneer deck came back. I headed back down to install it, but it still wasn't working. Their note in the shipping package explicitly said that they had tested it. I was stumped - I knew next to nothing about cars and didn't know what to do next. Somebody then suggested looking at the fuses. I didn't know cars had fuses. I looked and sure enough one of them was blown - that was the second crackle I had heard. The clock was really gone, but the deck had never shorted. I changed fuses and now I had my deck working again. After all the hassle, I couldn't care less about the rear speakers not working, which had started this whole chain of events.
Well, the clock was still broken and after my first experience with junk yards I thought I would call around and see if somebody had a replacement for the clock. Sure enough, one of them did. He gave me directions and I headed off, with coincidentally, the same two friends in the car. Blacksburg is in a pretty rural part of Virginia and once you get outside of town, it becomes hilly billy country pretty soon. The directions were hard to follow and we were soon lost on some country road. At one point we decided to head back and in order to make a U-turn I had to turn into the driveway of a farm house. We noticed a couple of kids playing in the yard. As I started driving away, my rear windshield turned opaque and my friend in the rear seat started yelling, "Drive, drive!" I gunned the engine and left the place in a hurry. My friend exclaimed, "We were shot!" Yup, one of the kids had taken a shot at us and hit the rear windshield. We had noticed the guns in the kids hands, but had thought nothing of it. We drove home gingerly and after some debate, called the cops. Now, this is the deep south and here we were, students from India accusing a couple of white kids of having shot at us. We didn't even know exactly where the house was. The officer took our report and headed out to investigate.
He called me back a while later and said that he had indeed located the house and yes, there were kids playing with a BB gun and yes, they had seen a blue car turn around and leave in a hurry, but no, they had not taken a shot at the car. The kids dad claimed that he was there the whole time and he had seen it all. All I wanted was for the guy to pay for the windshield, but he was not budging. The cop said I could press charges, but it had to go to juvenile court since the kids were underage. I decided I should try, at least in the hope that the dad would settle out of court and pay for my windshield. The courts were in the next town (Christiansburg) and I started making weekly trips there. I was getting no traction - the cop seemed sympathetic, but he was pretty frank - he said the chances of me prevailing in juvie court were slim. Then if I lost, I may have to pay the expenses of the other side too. And maybe they would counter sue for a false charge. I could read between the lines - the word of 3 foreigners did not count for much against that of two white kids in that part of the country. The trips were getting painful - I had to schedule them around my classes and I was still driving with a plastic sheet in place of the rear windshield. In the end I gave up and paid for the replacement on my own. This was again from a junk yard and while it fit well, the defrost wiring did not work. Kind of a pain in the winter. I was out another $150, not to count all the aggravation and stress of the court house visits. My clock was still busted and my rear speakers were still silent.
It was several weeks later and a I had helped a friend do some India shopping. He was unloading stuff from my trunk and commented casually, "So how come you don't have rear speakers?" I responded, that of course I had rear speakers - the speaker meshes were clear visible behind the rear seats - but that they didn't work. He invited me to check for myself and as I stuck my head into the trunk I realized that he was correct: there were no speakers. There was the mesh, but no speakers below them. All this while I had been trying to coax sound from non-existent speakers. The thought occurred to me that I could saved myself some trouble if the audiophile had never ridden in my rear seat. Or maybe, the story I got from it is worth it?
I, of course jumped to the conclusion that I must not have wired something correctly. I yanked out the deck from the dashboard and started connecting wires that were hanging loose. At one point there was a crackle and I noticed that my clock was no longer working - I had shorted it out. A bit disappointing, but I ploughed on. Very soon there was another crackle and the deck, my brand new Pioneer Cassette deck, was no longer operational. Now that hurt. But, its not without reason that I am the designated customer service negotiator - I called the company and they agreed to repair it. I sent it in and was now without any kind of music system - not even radio.
Now, not having a music system was ok for tooling around Blacksburg, but the following weekend we were heading out on a 200 mile drive to an amusement park. A friend had a small boom box that he often took in his (equally ancient) car and he offered to lend me the same. It had a cigarette lighter adapter and so, we were all set. We even taped it to the dashboard so that nobody had to hold it all the time. Road trip was great and we returned late in the night and I went to bed without cleaning out my car. The next morning (a Sunday), a friend called to say that there appeared to be broken glass near my car. I ran down and sure enough, somebody had broken my car window in order to steal the $20 boom box. Now I not only had to replace my friend's boom box, but I also had get a new window. Thankfully, the thief had very considerately broken the rear window which didn't slide and so was not as expensive to fix as the front ones. I was able to find a replacement at a junk yard, but that plus the install put me $100 in the hole.
A week later, my 'repaired' Pioneer deck came back. I headed back down to install it, but it still wasn't working. Their note in the shipping package explicitly said that they had tested it. I was stumped - I knew next to nothing about cars and didn't know what to do next. Somebody then suggested looking at the fuses. I didn't know cars had fuses. I looked and sure enough one of them was blown - that was the second crackle I had heard. The clock was really gone, but the deck had never shorted. I changed fuses and now I had my deck working again. After all the hassle, I couldn't care less about the rear speakers not working, which had started this whole chain of events.
Well, the clock was still broken and after my first experience with junk yards I thought I would call around and see if somebody had a replacement for the clock. Sure enough, one of them did. He gave me directions and I headed off, with coincidentally, the same two friends in the car. Blacksburg is in a pretty rural part of Virginia and once you get outside of town, it becomes hilly billy country pretty soon. The directions were hard to follow and we were soon lost on some country road. At one point we decided to head back and in order to make a U-turn I had to turn into the driveway of a farm house. We noticed a couple of kids playing in the yard. As I started driving away, my rear windshield turned opaque and my friend in the rear seat started yelling, "Drive, drive!" I gunned the engine and left the place in a hurry. My friend exclaimed, "We were shot!" Yup, one of the kids had taken a shot at us and hit the rear windshield. We had noticed the guns in the kids hands, but had thought nothing of it. We drove home gingerly and after some debate, called the cops. Now, this is the deep south and here we were, students from India accusing a couple of white kids of having shot at us. We didn't even know exactly where the house was. The officer took our report and headed out to investigate.
He called me back a while later and said that he had indeed located the house and yes, there were kids playing with a BB gun and yes, they had seen a blue car turn around and leave in a hurry, but no, they had not taken a shot at the car. The kids dad claimed that he was there the whole time and he had seen it all. All I wanted was for the guy to pay for the windshield, but he was not budging. The cop said I could press charges, but it had to go to juvenile court since the kids were underage. I decided I should try, at least in the hope that the dad would settle out of court and pay for my windshield. The courts were in the next town (Christiansburg) and I started making weekly trips there. I was getting no traction - the cop seemed sympathetic, but he was pretty frank - he said the chances of me prevailing in juvie court were slim. Then if I lost, I may have to pay the expenses of the other side too. And maybe they would counter sue for a false charge. I could read between the lines - the word of 3 foreigners did not count for much against that of two white kids in that part of the country. The trips were getting painful - I had to schedule them around my classes and I was still driving with a plastic sheet in place of the rear windshield. In the end I gave up and paid for the replacement on my own. This was again from a junk yard and while it fit well, the defrost wiring did not work. Kind of a pain in the winter. I was out another $150, not to count all the aggravation and stress of the court house visits. My clock was still busted and my rear speakers were still silent.
It was several weeks later and a I had helped a friend do some India shopping. He was unloading stuff from my trunk and commented casually, "So how come you don't have rear speakers?" I responded, that of course I had rear speakers - the speaker meshes were clear visible behind the rear seats - but that they didn't work. He invited me to check for myself and as I stuck my head into the trunk I realized that he was correct: there were no speakers. There was the mesh, but no speakers below them. All this while I had been trying to coax sound from non-existent speakers. The thought occurred to me that I could saved myself some trouble if the audiophile had never ridden in my rear seat. Or maybe, the story I got from it is worth it?
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
November 4, 2008, San Diego, CA
I voted for Hillary Clinton in the Democratic primary and when it became obvious that she was not going to win, I rationalized that while either of those candidates would make for a historic result, an Obama candidature and victory would be more historic since there had never been a leader of color in any Western democracy, while there had been several women, most recently in Germany. At that point, I had taken it for granted that the Democratic candidate would win easily in this election, although it all had a certain fairy tale quality to it.
Of course the campaign season did not quite go the way I expected - the Republicans were not going to go away without a fight. In retrospect, maybe it looked closer than it ever was only to the beholder who was nervous about the prospect of another Republican administration - not so much for what it would bring, but for the verdict it would have passed on the Bush/Cheney presidency. A McCain victory to a large degree would have sent the message that the actions of the current administration were not all the very bad. Bush Jr would have been resurrected to some degree and I would have found it very difficult to accept that.
America is a unique country - it is in many ways a 'manufactured' country (Australia is another example), but that is not what makes it great. It is the fact that America is a country of ideas. This is no great insight, of course, but this has always been the appeal for me. Vaneee may be a recent convert to politics, but I have been a political junkie most of my life. It is hard to get enthusiastic about politics in India - so much of the power seems to be vested in the brawn and not in the brain. However, coming to the US in 1991, and following politics here, I was struck by the idealism and genuine desire to play by the rules. So, it was with deep anguish that I watched the Bush/Cheney team dismantle and tarnish that ideal. The right wing media cheering squad drowned out any protest and the low point came when any questioning of the government was automatically deemed unpatriotic. How much longer would it be, I wondered, before there was an actual suspension of civil rights? Maybe Bush/Cheney would even claim that they needed a third term to avoid a change in the middle of the "war on terror." After all, that hero of 9/11, Mr. Guiliani, tried to extend his term as mayor of NY on a similar pretext.
The loss of Gore was harder to take than that of Kerry. It was famously said during that campaign that the election was really inconsequential and it wouldn't matter which candidate won (remember "compassionate conservatism?"). Who believes that today? But as Sid has pointed out, perhaps the silver lining was just too far in the future - would Barack Obama be President-elect today if Bush had not won 8 years ago? The price for this piece of history has been very high though: the blunders in Iraq, the needless loss of life, both Iraqi and American, the loss of credibility and respect around the world, the limits on civil liberties. Will the Obama presidency be so significant that it justifies this cost to some degree? I am not going to guess, but a McCain victory would have destroyed even the hope that something positive could come out of the mess of the last 8 years.
What did really win Obama this presidency? His composure in the eye of a storm? His organizational skills? Disgust with the current administration? The selection of Palin? McCain's erratic behavior? I believe all of those played a part, but the ultimate clincher was something more elemental, something that showed up all the culture wars and race issues for exactly what they were - non-issues. This is not a big unknown - it was the deep economic crisis that was put into a tailspin by the banking mess. It has often been observed that ideals are the privilege of the well-fed. When you are hungry, nothing else matters other than getting the next meal. Morals, ethics, and almost any other principle of modern western civilization gets tossed out the window when it comes to satisfying basic needs. How many Indians do you think will jump at the chance of swapping Indian economic conditions with that of China even if it means getting their political conditions? So, when the economic crisis hit, the issue of Obama's race ceased to be a real factor. People instinctively grasped that it was inconsequential. That is what broke the election in his favor.
Sanjay & Geetha organized an election viewing party, unprodded. Sanjay has a thing or two to learn about full disclosure and I know of a certain house in Miro Ct that will be tuned to CNN for at least 48 hours straight to overcome the withdrawal symptoms. I guess it contributed to the air of wonder and bewilderment of the evening. Could this be happening? Grown men and women were struggling to come to terms with the cold, cruel, reality - no cable! We had the choice of the three networks (accessed through a complex sequence of remote key presses) and an extremely dull effort from PBS. Even the CSPAN programming looked positively exciting, in comparison. There are still some folks who are still waiting for somebody to change the channel to MSNBC or FoxNews. What would be next? Huddle around a vacuum tube radio, smacking it occasionally to improve the reception?
I joke of course. It wasn't that bad - true, some of us may have to have therapy to fully recover, but we did manage to follow the results (except RDX, who kept getting extremely confused by the differences in the projections between the 3 networks) and a good time was had by all. The hosts retained their grace despite constant needling by yours truly and they deserve our thanks. I had to agree with Sanjay's comment -"See what fun you can have with five channels?" at nights end. In the end, the only thing that mattered was that Obama won. It was a special moment when the whole room broke into a cheer when the sign "President-elect Obama" went up on the TV screen. I had to pause for a moment to savor it - here were a group of Indians who are by nature cynical and highly unlikely to admit to any sentimentality, actually cheering an election result in their adopted country. Obama's speech was magnificent as usual. I still remember Mario Cuomo's speech in 1992, nominating Bill Clinton. Clinton himself is no slouch, but an Obama speech is something special. The control and poise that he was able to command at such a powerful moment made his already well crafted text all the more striking.
Will this be a transformational presidency? Maybe it almost does not matter - the transformation has already happened.
Of course the campaign season did not quite go the way I expected - the Republicans were not going to go away without a fight. In retrospect, maybe it looked closer than it ever was only to the beholder who was nervous about the prospect of another Republican administration - not so much for what it would bring, but for the verdict it would have passed on the Bush/Cheney presidency. A McCain victory to a large degree would have sent the message that the actions of the current administration were not all the very bad. Bush Jr would have been resurrected to some degree and I would have found it very difficult to accept that.
America is a unique country - it is in many ways a 'manufactured' country (Australia is another example), but that is not what makes it great. It is the fact that America is a country of ideas. This is no great insight, of course, but this has always been the appeal for me. Vaneee may be a recent convert to politics, but I have been a political junkie most of my life. It is hard to get enthusiastic about politics in India - so much of the power seems to be vested in the brawn and not in the brain. However, coming to the US in 1991, and following politics here, I was struck by the idealism and genuine desire to play by the rules. So, it was with deep anguish that I watched the Bush/Cheney team dismantle and tarnish that ideal. The right wing media cheering squad drowned out any protest and the low point came when any questioning of the government was automatically deemed unpatriotic. How much longer would it be, I wondered, before there was an actual suspension of civil rights? Maybe Bush/Cheney would even claim that they needed a third term to avoid a change in the middle of the "war on terror." After all, that hero of 9/11, Mr. Guiliani, tried to extend his term as mayor of NY on a similar pretext.
The loss of Gore was harder to take than that of Kerry. It was famously said during that campaign that the election was really inconsequential and it wouldn't matter which candidate won (remember "compassionate conservatism?"). Who believes that today? But as Sid has pointed out, perhaps the silver lining was just too far in the future - would Barack Obama be President-elect today if Bush had not won 8 years ago? The price for this piece of history has been very high though: the blunders in Iraq, the needless loss of life, both Iraqi and American, the loss of credibility and respect around the world, the limits on civil liberties. Will the Obama presidency be so significant that it justifies this cost to some degree? I am not going to guess, but a McCain victory would have destroyed even the hope that something positive could come out of the mess of the last 8 years.
What did really win Obama this presidency? His composure in the eye of a storm? His organizational skills? Disgust with the current administration? The selection of Palin? McCain's erratic behavior? I believe all of those played a part, but the ultimate clincher was something more elemental, something that showed up all the culture wars and race issues for exactly what they were - non-issues. This is not a big unknown - it was the deep economic crisis that was put into a tailspin by the banking mess. It has often been observed that ideals are the privilege of the well-fed. When you are hungry, nothing else matters other than getting the next meal. Morals, ethics, and almost any other principle of modern western civilization gets tossed out the window when it comes to satisfying basic needs. How many Indians do you think will jump at the chance of swapping Indian economic conditions with that of China even if it means getting their political conditions? So, when the economic crisis hit, the issue of Obama's race ceased to be a real factor. People instinctively grasped that it was inconsequential. That is what broke the election in his favor.
Sanjay & Geetha organized an election viewing party, unprodded. Sanjay has a thing or two to learn about full disclosure and I know of a certain house in Miro Ct that will be tuned to CNN for at least 48 hours straight to overcome the withdrawal symptoms. I guess it contributed to the air of wonder and bewilderment of the evening. Could this be happening? Grown men and women were struggling to come to terms with the cold, cruel, reality - no cable! We had the choice of the three networks (accessed through a complex sequence of remote key presses) and an extremely dull effort from PBS. Even the CSPAN programming looked positively exciting, in comparison. There are still some folks who are still waiting for somebody to change the channel to MSNBC or FoxNews. What would be next? Huddle around a vacuum tube radio, smacking it occasionally to improve the reception?
I joke of course. It wasn't that bad - true, some of us may have to have therapy to fully recover, but we did manage to follow the results (except RDX, who kept getting extremely confused by the differences in the projections between the 3 networks) and a good time was had by all. The hosts retained their grace despite constant needling by yours truly and they deserve our thanks. I had to agree with Sanjay's comment -"See what fun you can have with five channels?" at nights end. In the end, the only thing that mattered was that Obama won. It was a special moment when the whole room broke into a cheer when the sign "President-elect Obama" went up on the TV screen. I had to pause for a moment to savor it - here were a group of Indians who are by nature cynical and highly unlikely to admit to any sentimentality, actually cheering an election result in their adopted country. Obama's speech was magnificent as usual. I still remember Mario Cuomo's speech in 1992, nominating Bill Clinton. Clinton himself is no slouch, but an Obama speech is something special. The control and poise that he was able to command at such a powerful moment made his already well crafted text all the more striking.
Will this be a transformational presidency? Maybe it almost does not matter - the transformation has already happened.
Friday, October 31, 2008
You Can Call Me Bobby
Due to the overwhelming demand from my adoring readers (mgd expressed interest), here are some notes about the Sat (10/25) & Sun (10/26) events surrounding Dev's wedding.
Saturday
My parents were returning to India today after a stay of almost 4 months. We borrowed Vinay's minivan so that we could all go in one vehicle. We left home around 8.30am and were well in time for checking into the 1.10pm Cathay flight.
We left LAX around 12.30pm and started the 42 mile drive to Diamond Bar, where we were going to stay overnight. Traffic got a bit nasty and we were all getting hungry. We finally pulled off the 60 to find food and ended up in a McDonald's. Food was no good, but the new decor was pretty pleasing. The McCafe was decent also - Starbucks or Peet's is better I think. We eventually reached Ayres Suites in Diamond Bar, checked-in and tried to catch a nap. Nice rooms, with a mini-fridge and microwave in every room.
Folks were dressing up for the party, so Prem took some photos before we left - yet to see them. Cocktail party was in Covina - nice town, felt almost like the main drag in Santa Barbara. We were almost an hour late, but turned out that most folks were just trickling in. Party was in the clubhouse of a condo complex - interesting layout- there was a sitting area with very low seats and a deck outside that over looked the pool. There was another room that had an ancient tv and kids were able to watch some videos through the night.
It was a casual affair, the newly minted husband and wife were milling about greeting the guests. Donna's BIL (Mohit) who lives in London is in banking and I had a chat with him about the current crisis. I got insights from the inside. Food was mostly finger foods from Costco and Trader Joe's. Prem was spiking the margarita with extra tequila and gave me one of those. After a few sips I had to strategically dispose it.
The restrooms provided some challenges. They were accessed from the TV room, but had two doors, and you had to close the outer one since the inner one did not quite close. Figuring out if somebody was inside was a challenge since the outer door also got stuck. At one point I had gone in and found myself locked in. Turned out the the outer door had the lock on the outside (!) and our little guy, Abhi, had helpfully turned the lock. I felt a little silly banging on the door.
Eventually, the main floor was cleared and some dancing broke out. Both Dev and Donna were (somewhat reluctantly) pressed into the action, but they showed some moves. Mohit was the impressive dancer - that guy can shake a leg! Around 10-ish, we left along with the other Kumars.
Sunday
There was banging outside our door quite early which I ignored for a while. Finally opened the door and Rams and Jothis were ready for bkfast. We eventually headed down for the free buffet. It wasn't much, but ok. We tried playing some poker on three ipods, but the network was weak and the game kept exiting. Soon other folks came down for bkfast - Kapoors, Palakodetys (jr & sr).
We had a sorry lunch at Chilli's and returned to the room. All 8 kumars were now in one room since we decided to split the late checkout fee. 7 kumars were trying to take a nap and Arjun was watching a show on my computer. I gave him headphones to cut off the sound, but that strategy was rendered moot when he started laughing at the show. Amazingly we all got ready and headed out on time.
There was child care arranged at the reception, but that turned out to be mostly a bust. Kids were wandering out freely and the smaller ones were bawling their heads off and several parents were in attendance. Abhi was one such and eventually we gave up trying to keep him there and took him into the reception proper. The hall was filled with round tables and we were all assigned seating. At our table were p&v, s&s, k&h, and Sanjay & Bhoj. Sanjay stayed seated since he didn't want to expose the jeans that he had worn to the fancy party. Over 200 folks were expected. Appetizers had been served and Dev and Donna were greeting guests. It was a very festive occasion.
After a while the MC called the party to order and we got going with a series of speeches from close family and friends. The SD end was held up by Kaushik and Rahul. Kaushik highlighted the TG96 trip and by prior arrangement, we (ie, other participants on that trip) broke into cheers. Rahul mentioned drinking to Pink Floyd with the dude, but I don't recall much else. I felt like speaking myself - the whole hiking/outdoorsy side of Dev didn't come up. The family speeches were quite touching and when friends of Donna spoke about how she felt about Dev, I saw many a female eye being dabbed. Dev's sister (Deepa) spoke at length and a la "Cosmo" Kramer, we learnt that while Dev may be the Dude to us, he is "Bobby" to them. Finally, we got to see a short slide-show of Dev & Donna's pictures and the tables were released for dinner. Just before that, a gentleman came up and sang a song from the movie "Kohinoor." Very nice. There was also a dance by Dev's 5 (?) yr old niece that was really cute.
After dinner, the couple had undergone a sartorial shift - Dev was now in a smashing suit (the first time that he was not in an Indian outfit) along with a beautiful pink tie, that sort of reminded me of the Donald. They proceeded to cut the 3-tier cake and Donna had a surprise for Dev - she had been taking voice lessons (urged by Dev) and now sang a song for him. I was very impressed by her gumption to do that in front of 200 people.
Now it was time for the first dance and in the few weddings I have gone to here, the couple just does the first few bars of a slow number and then the parents join in and very soon the rest of the guests follow. Not so here. Dev & Donna had other plans - they had a carefully scripted dance prepared. When they segued into a tango, I knew they were very serious about the whole thing. They even had a finish planned for each routine. For those who know the real dude, this was very much in character.
It was getting late now and after taking a short turn around the dance floor it was time to leave. The gals (Keerthi, Latha, Vanitha) were having a good time on the dance floor. The Rams had to drive 7 hrs to Menlo Park and were last seen dashing out in their PJs (yeah, they changed before starting the drive). The drive back was uneventful and we got back home around 11pm.
It had been a whirlwind of a weekend - driving back & forth on Friday, my parents leaving, two receptions, emotional speeches, and the Dude getting married. I was still a bit dazed on Monday and it took the better part of the day to get back to normalcy.
Saturday
My parents were returning to India today after a stay of almost 4 months. We borrowed Vinay's minivan so that we could all go in one vehicle. We left home around 8.30am and were well in time for checking into the 1.10pm Cathay flight.
We left LAX around 12.30pm and started the 42 mile drive to Diamond Bar, where we were going to stay overnight. Traffic got a bit nasty and we were all getting hungry. We finally pulled off the 60 to find food and ended up in a McDonald's. Food was no good, but the new decor was pretty pleasing. The McCafe was decent also - Starbucks or Peet's is better I think. We eventually reached Ayres Suites in Diamond Bar, checked-in and tried to catch a nap. Nice rooms, with a mini-fridge and microwave in every room.
Folks were dressing up for the party, so Prem took some photos before we left - yet to see them. Cocktail party was in Covina - nice town, felt almost like the main drag in Santa Barbara. We were almost an hour late, but turned out that most folks were just trickling in. Party was in the clubhouse of a condo complex - interesting layout- there was a sitting area with very low seats and a deck outside that over looked the pool. There was another room that had an ancient tv and kids were able to watch some videos through the night.
It was a casual affair, the newly minted husband and wife were milling about greeting the guests. Donna's BIL (Mohit) who lives in London is in banking and I had a chat with him about the current crisis. I got insights from the inside. Food was mostly finger foods from Costco and Trader Joe's. Prem was spiking the margarita with extra tequila and gave me one of those. After a few sips I had to strategically dispose it.
The restrooms provided some challenges. They were accessed from the TV room, but had two doors, and you had to close the outer one since the inner one did not quite close. Figuring out if somebody was inside was a challenge since the outer door also got stuck. At one point I had gone in and found myself locked in. Turned out the the outer door had the lock on the outside (!) and our little guy, Abhi, had helpfully turned the lock. I felt a little silly banging on the door.
Eventually, the main floor was cleared and some dancing broke out. Both Dev and Donna were (somewhat reluctantly) pressed into the action, but they showed some moves. Mohit was the impressive dancer - that guy can shake a leg! Around 10-ish, we left along with the other Kumars.
Sunday
There was banging outside our door quite early which I ignored for a while. Finally opened the door and Rams and Jothis were ready for bkfast. We eventually headed down for the free buffet. It wasn't much, but ok. We tried playing some poker on three ipods, but the network was weak and the game kept exiting. Soon other folks came down for bkfast - Kapoors, Palakodetys (jr & sr).
We had a sorry lunch at Chilli's and returned to the room. All 8 kumars were now in one room since we decided to split the late checkout fee. 7 kumars were trying to take a nap and Arjun was watching a show on my computer. I gave him headphones to cut off the sound, but that strategy was rendered moot when he started laughing at the show. Amazingly we all got ready and headed out on time.
There was child care arranged at the reception, but that turned out to be mostly a bust. Kids were wandering out freely and the smaller ones were bawling their heads off and several parents were in attendance. Abhi was one such and eventually we gave up trying to keep him there and took him into the reception proper. The hall was filled with round tables and we were all assigned seating. At our table were p&v, s&s, k&h, and Sanjay & Bhoj. Sanjay stayed seated since he didn't want to expose the jeans that he had worn to the fancy party. Over 200 folks were expected. Appetizers had been served and Dev and Donna were greeting guests. It was a very festive occasion.
After a while the MC called the party to order and we got going with a series of speeches from close family and friends. The SD end was held up by Kaushik and Rahul. Kaushik highlighted the TG96 trip and by prior arrangement, we (ie, other participants on that trip) broke into cheers. Rahul mentioned drinking to Pink Floyd with the dude, but I don't recall much else. I felt like speaking myself - the whole hiking/outdoorsy side of Dev didn't come up. The family speeches were quite touching and when friends of Donna spoke about how she felt about Dev, I saw many a female eye being dabbed. Dev's sister (Deepa) spoke at length and a la "Cosmo" Kramer, we learnt that while Dev may be the Dude to us, he is "Bobby" to them. Finally, we got to see a short slide-show of Dev & Donna's pictures and the tables were released for dinner. Just before that, a gentleman came up and sang a song from the movie "Kohinoor." Very nice. There was also a dance by Dev's 5 (?) yr old niece that was really cute.
After dinner, the couple had undergone a sartorial shift - Dev was now in a smashing suit (the first time that he was not in an Indian outfit) along with a beautiful pink tie, that sort of reminded me of the Donald. They proceeded to cut the 3-tier cake and Donna had a surprise for Dev - she had been taking voice lessons (urged by Dev) and now sang a song for him. I was very impressed by her gumption to do that in front of 200 people.
Now it was time for the first dance and in the few weddings I have gone to here, the couple just does the first few bars of a slow number and then the parents join in and very soon the rest of the guests follow. Not so here. Dev & Donna had other plans - they had a carefully scripted dance prepared. When they segued into a tango, I knew they were very serious about the whole thing. They even had a finish planned for each routine. For those who know the real dude, this was very much in character.
It was getting late now and after taking a short turn around the dance floor it was time to leave. The gals (Keerthi, Latha, Vanitha) were having a good time on the dance floor. The Rams had to drive 7 hrs to Menlo Park and were last seen dashing out in their PJs (yeah, they changed before starting the drive). The drive back was uneventful and we got back home around 11pm.
It had been a whirlwind of a weekend - driving back & forth on Friday, my parents leaving, two receptions, emotional speeches, and the Dude getting married. I was still a bit dazed on Monday and it took the better part of the day to get back to normalcy.
Local (San Diego) Propositions
Ok, just to round out the election coverage, here is my take on the local props. Some of these were more difficult to decide than the state-wide props.
Prop A: Regional Fire Protection Ballot Measure: YES
This calls for an additional $52 in property taxes to go directly for fire fighting measures. Sounds good in principle. Two arguments against are that (1) It is regressive since the tax is same irrespective of prop value (it goes up for very large lots or floor plans), and (2) We already pay enough taxes so the city council needs to find other ways to come up with this 50mil. I think there is something to both arguments, but after going through 2 major fires, I am inclined to vote in favor of this one.
Prop B: Marine Freight Preservation and Bayfront Redevelopment Initiative: NO
This is some complicated scheme to build a 40' high platform on the bay front and then possibly put a stadium on the top. Clearly fueled by real estate developers. I am going with No.
Prop C: Use of Revenues from Mission Bay: YES
It appears that most of the revenues from Mission Bay leases are not used to improve facilities there. Of course, it is hardly possible or even desirable for all revenues to stay close to their source, but mandating a certain portion be used for much needed Mission Bay improvements only seems fair. Of course one can quibble about the percentages, but you have start somewhere.
Prop D: Alcohol Consumption At City Beaches: YES
I guess this is easy for me given that with kids I prefer the alcohol ban and this is quite likely a case of the majority imposing its will on the minority, but hey, such is life. The small pitfalls of democracy.
Prop A: Regional Fire Protection Ballot Measure: YES
This calls for an additional $52 in property taxes to go directly for fire fighting measures. Sounds good in principle. Two arguments against are that (1) It is regressive since the tax is same irrespective of prop value (it goes up for very large lots or floor plans), and (2) We already pay enough taxes so the city council needs to find other ways to come up with this 50mil. I think there is something to both arguments, but after going through 2 major fires, I am inclined to vote in favor of this one.
Prop B: Marine Freight Preservation and Bayfront Redevelopment Initiative: NO
This is some complicated scheme to build a 40' high platform on the bay front and then possibly put a stadium on the top. Clearly fueled by real estate developers. I am going with No.
Prop C: Use of Revenues from Mission Bay: YES
It appears that most of the revenues from Mission Bay leases are not used to improve facilities there. Of course, it is hardly possible or even desirable for all revenues to stay close to their source, but mandating a certain portion be used for much needed Mission Bay improvements only seems fair. Of course one can quibble about the percentages, but you have start somewhere.
Prop D: Alcohol Consumption At City Beaches: YES
I guess this is easy for me given that with kids I prefer the alcohol ban and this is quite likely a case of the majority imposing its will on the minority, but hey, such is life. The small pitfalls of democracy.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
CA Propositions - My Votes
Here is how I plan to vote on the 12 CA propositions next week. My analysis is not very deep due to the constraints of time and the fact that none of these propositions is likely to have an ever lasting impact - if something truly horrible gets passed (or something worthy is denied), people will try again and try to undo the damage/missed opportunity.
BTW, I am running a poll about some of the props on the right. Please vote if you feel like it.
Prop 1a (High Speed Rail): NO
I like trains and the idea of a high speed train from SD to Sacramento/SF is appealing. However, I think we could do with more local transportation before we invest in this very costly infrastructure project. It has a wide range of supporters including the Governor and the two CA senators (Boxer & Feinstein), but I suspect they are more interested in the job creation prospects.
Prop 2 (Standards for confining farm animals): YES
The main argument against this seems to be that egg farming could move out of the state to either Mexico or neighboring states where regulations are not as strict. I don't care much for this argument. CA has always led the way when it comes to progressive reforms. I see this as another such example.
Prop 3 (Funding for Children's Hospitals): YES
Deserving project. Main argument against is that it is not fiscally prudent in these tough times. I buy that somewhat and actually would be open to re-considering this vote. If it fails this time, this prop will show up again.
Prop 4 (Parental Notification for Abortion): NO
This really applies to teens who are between 16 & 18. It adds further liability for doctors who are already under pressure from pro-life groups. I do believe parents have the right to know, but the evidence from similar regulations in other states has not been positive.
Prop 5 (Expand treatment programs for non-violent drug offenders): YES
This is another good idea that is under pressure due to the current fiscal constraints. I believe strongly in rehabilitation (influenced no doubt by all the 'criminal as under-dog' shows and movies that I have seen). The clincher was that the prison guards union has contributed almost 2 million to defeat this prop.
Prop 6 (Increased funding for law enforcement): NO
This prop mandates funding for certain law enforcement activities and increases the minimum penalty for certain crimes. I don't think our crime problem is because of insufficient punishment. This is one I can live without, especially in these fiscally constrained times.
Prop 7 (Requirement for use of renewable sources for utilities): NO
This prop looks tempting - should not CA be setting the standard for generating power from renewable sources? However, the prop doesn't look well thought out and is opposed by a wide coalition of groups including both environmental groups (such as the Sierra Club) and alternative energy companies. Edison and Sempra have contributed about 13 mil each to defeat this, which would normally cause me to almost reflexively say 'Yes", but I am going with the opposition on this one.
Prop 8 (Gay marriage ammendment): NO
This is an easy choice for me. Clearly there is a lot of passion about this one. Every day there are groups of people at various intersections holding up signs in favor of this prop. Today I had to smile when I saw a lonely 'NO' supporter holding up his solitary sign in the midst of a group of 'Yes' placards at the intersection of Mira Mesa and Camino Ruiz. The idea that the purpose of marriage is to procreate is so ingrained that it often accepted as gospel. Marriage is merely a societal construction. Today it is imbued it with a sacred glow when most older societies see it mostly as a practical arrangement. Ironically, it is this very desirable quality invested in marriages that makes it more appealing to those denied that right.
Prop 9 (Victim notification during trial): NO
Victims already have considerable rights during all phases of criminal trials. They don't need additional rights.
Prop 10 (Rebates for buying alternative energy vehicles): NO
I don't really get this. It sounds kind of good, but is bank rolled by a Texas billionnaire (T.Boone Pickens) who has massive natural gas holdings that will benefit from this passing. Doesn't smell right.
Prop 11(Re-districting authority taken away from the legislature): YES
I hate gerrymandering and while this proposal has flaws, it is a step in the right direction.
Prop 12(Loans for Veterans to buy houses): NO
Again, tempting to say yes, but it is too much money and for too narrow an interest group.
BTW, I am running a poll about some of the props on the right. Please vote if you feel like it.
Prop 1a (High Speed Rail): NO
I like trains and the idea of a high speed train from SD to Sacramento/SF is appealing. However, I think we could do with more local transportation before we invest in this very costly infrastructure project. It has a wide range of supporters including the Governor and the two CA senators (Boxer & Feinstein), but I suspect they are more interested in the job creation prospects.
Prop 2 (Standards for confining farm animals): YES
The main argument against this seems to be that egg farming could move out of the state to either Mexico or neighboring states where regulations are not as strict. I don't care much for this argument. CA has always led the way when it comes to progressive reforms. I see this as another such example.
Prop 3 (Funding for Children's Hospitals): YES
Deserving project. Main argument against is that it is not fiscally prudent in these tough times. I buy that somewhat and actually would be open to re-considering this vote. If it fails this time, this prop will show up again.
Prop 4 (Parental Notification for Abortion): NO
This really applies to teens who are between 16 & 18. It adds further liability for doctors who are already under pressure from pro-life groups. I do believe parents have the right to know, but the evidence from similar regulations in other states has not been positive.
Prop 5 (Expand treatment programs for non-violent drug offenders): YES
This is another good idea that is under pressure due to the current fiscal constraints. I believe strongly in rehabilitation (influenced no doubt by all the 'criminal as under-dog' shows and movies that I have seen). The clincher was that the prison guards union has contributed almost 2 million to defeat this prop.
Prop 6 (Increased funding for law enforcement): NO
This prop mandates funding for certain law enforcement activities and increases the minimum penalty for certain crimes. I don't think our crime problem is because of insufficient punishment. This is one I can live without, especially in these fiscally constrained times.
Prop 7 (Requirement for use of renewable sources for utilities): NO
This prop looks tempting - should not CA be setting the standard for generating power from renewable sources? However, the prop doesn't look well thought out and is opposed by a wide coalition of groups including both environmental groups (such as the Sierra Club) and alternative energy companies. Edison and Sempra have contributed about 13 mil each to defeat this, which would normally cause me to almost reflexively say 'Yes", but I am going with the opposition on this one.
Prop 8 (Gay marriage ammendment): NO
This is an easy choice for me. Clearly there is a lot of passion about this one. Every day there are groups of people at various intersections holding up signs in favor of this prop. Today I had to smile when I saw a lonely 'NO' supporter holding up his solitary sign in the midst of a group of 'Yes' placards at the intersection of Mira Mesa and Camino Ruiz. The idea that the purpose of marriage is to procreate is so ingrained that it often accepted as gospel. Marriage is merely a societal construction. Today it is imbued it with a sacred glow when most older societies see it mostly as a practical arrangement. Ironically, it is this very desirable quality invested in marriages that makes it more appealing to those denied that right.
Prop 9 (Victim notification during trial): NO
Victims already have considerable rights during all phases of criminal trials. They don't need additional rights.
Prop 10 (Rebates for buying alternative energy vehicles): NO
I don't really get this. It sounds kind of good, but is bank rolled by a Texas billionnaire (T.Boone Pickens) who has massive natural gas holdings that will benefit from this passing. Doesn't smell right.
Prop 11(Re-districting authority taken away from the legislature): YES
I hate gerrymandering and while this proposal has flaws, it is a step in the right direction.
Prop 12(Loans for Veterans to buy houses): NO
Again, tempting to say yes, but it is too much money and for too narrow an interest group.
Pick Your Poison
Yesterday we had a mini-Diwali celebration with a potluck dinner at La Casa Bhoj (LCB). Our contribution were Malini's 'paripu' vadas. Other entries included Chole (I encouraged folks to consume liberal quantities of this given that it was Diwali), couple of forms of rice; a dal; a combo of eggplant, potatoes, and salt; and dessert in the form of tapioca & semia kheer. The gracious host was dishing up "edible" chapatis (in the words of sivap). All folks were dressed up. Arjun & Abhishek have suddenly become fans of kurtas (or "jubba" as we call them) and were also in traditional outfits, willingly this time.
I had brought my camera and having borrowed Prem's flash spent quite some time experimenting with a 2-flash system. Despite my (& Prem's) best efforts I could not get the results I wanted and had to abandon plans of taking family portraits. Lathak and Prem sportingly modeled for the vast majority of my test shots while a number of others played cameo roles. I missed most of the conversation because of this fiddling - no doubt folks had intriguing and entertaining things to say.
We started eating and Harini (who had made the eggplant dish) was issuing warnings of high salt content. Siva, in his bid to be helpful, suggested that I mix the dish with rice and yogurt since this would, in his words, "make it almost tolerable." In retrospect, this comment, while innocent was not designed to strike the right chord with his spouse who was already feeling quite bad about the salty dish. As men are wont to do in such situations, Siva proceeded to dig himself a bigger hole by trying to explain and rationalize his comments. He even served himself a large helping of the dish to demonstrate his loyalty.
Then it was time for dessert and this time Harini was serving. She handed a large bowl of the kheer to Siva, who protested about the excessive quantity. Harini responded that she was giving him extra sugar to balance the extra salt that he had consumed. I was prompted to comment that, "This way, if the BP does not kill you, the sugar will." Considerable hilarity ensued and Rahul told Siva,"Pick your poison" to which I added, "and your spouse will make sure you get it." Harini expressed concern that this story was going provide more fodder just when she was finally putting the "topless cake" story behind her.
All in all, a pleasant time was had by all. Oddly, there was no election talk - maybe everybody is weary of the extended campaign. We did re-live some Seinfeld moments.
By now it was almost 10pm and kids were falling apart. P&V had made their exit a while ago and we were waiting for the host to finish his meal. The same could not be said of the others - at last check, MGD was still eating.
I had brought my camera and having borrowed Prem's flash spent quite some time experimenting with a 2-flash system. Despite my (& Prem's) best efforts I could not get the results I wanted and had to abandon plans of taking family portraits. Lathak and Prem sportingly modeled for the vast majority of my test shots while a number of others played cameo roles. I missed most of the conversation because of this fiddling - no doubt folks had intriguing and entertaining things to say.
We started eating and Harini (who had made the eggplant dish) was issuing warnings of high salt content. Siva, in his bid to be helpful, suggested that I mix the dish with rice and yogurt since this would, in his words, "make it almost tolerable." In retrospect, this comment, while innocent was not designed to strike the right chord with his spouse who was already feeling quite bad about the salty dish. As men are wont to do in such situations, Siva proceeded to dig himself a bigger hole by trying to explain and rationalize his comments. He even served himself a large helping of the dish to demonstrate his loyalty.
Then it was time for dessert and this time Harini was serving. She handed a large bowl of the kheer to Siva, who protested about the excessive quantity. Harini responded that she was giving him extra sugar to balance the extra salt that he had consumed. I was prompted to comment that, "This way, if the BP does not kill you, the sugar will." Considerable hilarity ensued and Rahul told Siva,"Pick your poison" to which I added, "and your spouse will make sure you get it." Harini expressed concern that this story was going provide more fodder just when she was finally putting the "topless cake" story behind her.
All in all, a pleasant time was had by all. Oddly, there was no election talk - maybe everybody is weary of the extended campaign. We did re-live some Seinfeld moments.
By now it was almost 10pm and kids were falling apart. P&V had made their exit a while ago and we were waiting for the host to finish his meal. The same could not be said of the others - at last check, MGD was still eating.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
The Dude Gets Married
With RD's blog providing the latest inspiration, I was seeking an appropriate topic to start blogging. What better than the happy occasion of the dude tying the knot?
The wedding related events were spread over three days - the wedding-proper was in the Malibu temple on Friday (10/24), an informal cocktail party in Covina on Sat and finally the formal reception on Sunday in Diamond Bar. Malini and I were able to attend all three events.
Friday:My parents were still in town, so we were able to leave A&A at home. Driving to Malibu is not to be taken lightly, so we left early to ensure we would be on time. As is to be expected, there were no traffic delays and we got there over an hour early. Outside the temple was the dude in a white silk Kurta with painted feet and hands decorated with mehndi. As is my wont, I had lugged along my camera gear and used the opportunity to take some shots of Dev's family and the pujari setting up for the actual ceremonies. This had the unintended side-effect of the pujari annointing me the 'official' photographer.
Soon after, Donna and team showed up and Dev's sister (Deepa) proceeded to help complete her preparations. Dev was also completing his regalia and at this point they were seated on the two ends of a make-shift platform. I was struck by how low-key and stress-free everybody appeared to be. Things were moving at a gentle pace - nobody rushing around in a panic or doing last-minute scrambles. Eventually, Donna was ready and I got to take a couple of shots - I didn't get the results I was seeking, but at this point we were not totally relaxed either.
Snacks and drinks were served outside and the 'groom's party' was assembling to make the 20' approach to the temple entrance. I was asked to remain behind to photograph the arrival while Malini got to be part of the Dude-team. There was some confusion about how things were actually going to work since the ceremony was a bit of a melange of Andhra and Assamese traditions. Donna and friend were hanging around inside the temple with a confused air and when I asked her what was going on, she replied that she didn't really know and, "I think the organizers are confused as well." So I just waited.
I had had Dev pose at the entrance earlier and had carefully metered the scene since I was going to be shooting from inside a dark room into the brightly lit exterior. However, when the actual approach happened all my planning was for naught since the bridal party was essentially blocking the entrance!
After the groom's party made their entry into the temple folks started pelting each other with fist fulls of rice and cheering broke out for particularly forceful throws. I learned later on that such a 'rice fight' is traditional with Assamese weddings.
Dev was lead to the area set up for the wedding and the pujari proceeded with the ceremony. This part mostly involved Dev and his parents repeating several mantras after the priest and making some offerings. Rice offerings and water sprinkling (with mango leaves) were featured. Dev was then lead away and Donna was brought in for similar activities. Donna's aunt and uncle took part in the ceremony and they had a bit of a puzzled air about them since they were essentially being lead through an unfamiliar ceremony. The pujari was clearly experienced with such situations and directed them without any problems.
Now we were ready for the main part of the wedding and the pujari (who by now had decided that I was the "official" photographer) started issuing specific instructions to me about where to stand and what to photograph. Throughout the rest of the ceremony, he would routinely turn to me with questions such as, "Rajesh, are you happy? Did you get the shots?" or instruct the couple to pause or even rewind so that I could get a photo of a particular moment. It all got a bit humorous, but I also began to feel the weight of increased expectations. Of course, everybody became very accommodating of my rushing around and planting myself in their field of view.
A sari was held up in front of Donna and Dev was brought in and seated on the other side. Many mantras were said and Donna's uncle did the thread ceremony for Dev. A coconut (along with some rice & flowers) were placed in Donna's palm and her uncle placed her hands into Dev's from below the sari, that was still in place. This was the "kanya Daan." Dev and Donna then placed some jaggery and rice (yup, this was a prominent feature) on each others head and with their hands so positioned the sari was lifted. Close family and friends were then asked to bless the couple (who were frozen in tableau form with a hand on the other person's head), with what else, more rice. The ceremony then proceeded with much exchange of rice - culminating with an almost competitive pouring of copious quantities rice on each other's heads. It was all done with just the right mix of seriousness and playfulness.
After this, there was the traditional tying of the mangalsutra and exchange of garlands. The pujari tied the ends of their outfits and reminded them of the significance of this. Donna was also asked to touch Dev's feet and instructed (with a smile) that Dev was now her "God." This caused some amusement in the crowd and no doubt some wistful thoughts in more than one married guy in the assembled group. They then made the walk around the wedding arena with intertwined fingers and had the ring ceremony. First they exchanged rings and then Dev placed rings on Donna's toes. A mock fight was part of the deal - a couple of the rings were dropped into a pot of water and they both had to come up with the silver one (I think). Dev won the first go and the families demanded a retry. Donna won the second round, although there were allegations that he may have thrown the fight. All is fair in love and war and this was both. The couple were then seated in front of a fire and Dev made some more offerings. The pujari then took the two of them outside (of course with instructions to me to follow along). Outside they said some more prayers and surprise (!) - they flung rice into the air.
Lunch was next and it was catered by Woodlands. The star feature was the Bisi Bele Baath - I had to have a second helping! Of course there was also tamrind rice which I eschewed, but was told was rather tasty as well (but not quite on par with the BBB). Joor had supplied tea and after consuming ample quantities of the same, Malini and I said our goodbyes and headed back to SD.
More our group were present for the Sat and Sun events, so I'll blog about them only if there is sufficient interest. The wedding ceremonies were low key, but well done. Saturday's cocktail party was an informal gathering of close friends and family. Sunday's reception had clearly received the most planning and organization. It was beautiful and even my cynical, world weary self felt a tug or two.
The wedding related events were spread over three days - the wedding-proper was in the Malibu temple on Friday (10/24), an informal cocktail party in Covina on Sat and finally the formal reception on Sunday in Diamond Bar. Malini and I were able to attend all three events.
Friday:My parents were still in town, so we were able to leave A&A at home. Driving to Malibu is not to be taken lightly, so we left early to ensure we would be on time. As is to be expected, there were no traffic delays and we got there over an hour early. Outside the temple was the dude in a white silk Kurta with painted feet and hands decorated with mehndi. As is my wont, I had lugged along my camera gear and used the opportunity to take some shots of Dev's family and the pujari setting up for the actual ceremonies. This had the unintended side-effect of the pujari annointing me the 'official' photographer.
Soon after, Donna and team showed up and Dev's sister (Deepa) proceeded to help complete her preparations. Dev was also completing his regalia and at this point they were seated on the two ends of a make-shift platform. I was struck by how low-key and stress-free everybody appeared to be. Things were moving at a gentle pace - nobody rushing around in a panic or doing last-minute scrambles. Eventually, Donna was ready and I got to take a couple of shots - I didn't get the results I was seeking, but at this point we were not totally relaxed either.
Snacks and drinks were served outside and the 'groom's party' was assembling to make the 20' approach to the temple entrance. I was asked to remain behind to photograph the arrival while Malini got to be part of the Dude-team. There was some confusion about how things were actually going to work since the ceremony was a bit of a melange of Andhra and Assamese traditions. Donna and friend were hanging around inside the temple with a confused air and when I asked her what was going on, she replied that she didn't really know and, "I think the organizers are confused as well." So I just waited.
I had had Dev pose at the entrance earlier and had carefully metered the scene since I was going to be shooting from inside a dark room into the brightly lit exterior. However, when the actual approach happened all my planning was for naught since the bridal party was essentially blocking the entrance!
After the groom's party made their entry into the temple folks started pelting each other with fist fulls of rice and cheering broke out for particularly forceful throws. I learned later on that such a 'rice fight' is traditional with Assamese weddings.
Dev was lead to the area set up for the wedding and the pujari proceeded with the ceremony. This part mostly involved Dev and his parents repeating several mantras after the priest and making some offerings. Rice offerings and water sprinkling (with mango leaves) were featured. Dev was then lead away and Donna was brought in for similar activities. Donna's aunt and uncle took part in the ceremony and they had a bit of a puzzled air about them since they were essentially being lead through an unfamiliar ceremony. The pujari was clearly experienced with such situations and directed them without any problems.
Now we were ready for the main part of the wedding and the pujari (who by now had decided that I was the "official" photographer) started issuing specific instructions to me about where to stand and what to photograph. Throughout the rest of the ceremony, he would routinely turn to me with questions such as, "Rajesh, are you happy? Did you get the shots?" or instruct the couple to pause or even rewind so that I could get a photo of a particular moment. It all got a bit humorous, but I also began to feel the weight of increased expectations. Of course, everybody became very accommodating of my rushing around and planting myself in their field of view.
A sari was held up in front of Donna and Dev was brought in and seated on the other side. Many mantras were said and Donna's uncle did the thread ceremony for Dev. A coconut (along with some rice & flowers) were placed in Donna's palm and her uncle placed her hands into Dev's from below the sari, that was still in place. This was the "kanya Daan." Dev and Donna then placed some jaggery and rice (yup, this was a prominent feature) on each others head and with their hands so positioned the sari was lifted. Close family and friends were then asked to bless the couple (who were frozen in tableau form with a hand on the other person's head), with what else, more rice. The ceremony then proceeded with much exchange of rice - culminating with an almost competitive pouring of copious quantities rice on each other's heads. It was all done with just the right mix of seriousness and playfulness.
After this, there was the traditional tying of the mangalsutra and exchange of garlands. The pujari tied the ends of their outfits and reminded them of the significance of this. Donna was also asked to touch Dev's feet and instructed (with a smile) that Dev was now her "God." This caused some amusement in the crowd and no doubt some wistful thoughts in more than one married guy in the assembled group. They then made the walk around the wedding arena with intertwined fingers and had the ring ceremony. First they exchanged rings and then Dev placed rings on Donna's toes. A mock fight was part of the deal - a couple of the rings were dropped into a pot of water and they both had to come up with the silver one (I think). Dev won the first go and the families demanded a retry. Donna won the second round, although there were allegations that he may have thrown the fight. All is fair in love and war and this was both. The couple were then seated in front of a fire and Dev made some more offerings. The pujari then took the two of them outside (of course with instructions to me to follow along). Outside they said some more prayers and surprise (!) - they flung rice into the air.
Lunch was next and it was catered by Woodlands. The star feature was the Bisi Bele Baath - I had to have a second helping! Of course there was also tamrind rice which I eschewed, but was told was rather tasty as well (but not quite on par with the BBB). Joor had supplied tea and after consuming ample quantities of the same, Malini and I said our goodbyes and headed back to SD.
More our group were present for the Sat and Sun events, so I'll blog about them only if there is sufficient interest. The wedding ceremonies were low key, but well done. Saturday's cocktail party was an informal gathering of close friends and family. Sunday's reception had clearly received the most planning and organization. It was beautiful and even my cynical, world weary self felt a tug or two.
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